Health: Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running,...

By teapotrevolt - 02/03/2015 20:40 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 494

You deserved it 54 242

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Same thing different taste

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 162

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 196

You deserved it 3 954

By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 027

You deserved it 1 948

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 832

By 50sStyle - 12/06/2017 19:00 - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 417

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

Autumn vibes

By Robbo - 26/10/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 86

Emergency

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 333

You deserved it 2 666

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 162

You deserved it 5 807

rocketgurl 15

Monday 2 March 2015 23:33

OP: 0 Jogger: 1

Ramos808 29

Monday 2 March 2015 23:34

Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!

Comments

whyusofat 17

Tuesday 3 March 2015 3:25

Op must be feeling kinda salty after that

Mixed_steel 23

Tuesday 3 March 2015 3:27

French fries for irony!

Another_one_lmao 1

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:01

That's what you get for being an ass lmao

Queenie2014 11

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:06

Gotta love that instant Karma

minecraftguy333 20

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:18

Sound like me. Karma is a bitch.

heyimrichie 11

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:26

French fry: 1 ; OP: 0.

hurley12 30

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:27

ironic

jordaandanielle 17

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:43

ahhh, karma. ❤

jdeink1 3

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:44

Haha karma

melinda_myers 14

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:45

karma is a bitch

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 854

You deserved it 1 042

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 024

You deserved it 6 775

Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 126

Today, I tried signing into one of my many food apps. After three hours, forty five minutes, and several emails with tech support, I realized that I had mixed up the emails I use for my Amazon and food accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 449

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 153

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 077

You deserved it 4 994

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 6 566