Intimacy: Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told...

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 565

You deserved it 31 822

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 780

You deserved it 3 462

Consent

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 191

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 478

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 274

You deserved it 27 588

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 743

You deserved it 5 875

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

Sliced and diced

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 08:01

Today, our sons, who we thought were asleep, came barging into our room in the middle of the first blowjob my wife has given me in weeks. She was so shocked, she bit down and pulled away at the same time, tearing the big vein on the top of my cock. I had to go to hospital for blood loss and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 130

You deserved it 6 179

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 177

You deserved it 10 862

gc327072 30

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:05

OP's wife used ring slap It's super effective!

TurtleSmile 14

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:13

Sounds like she has been wanting to hit you for some time and was just waiting for permission.

Comments

CuriousAlien 7

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:12

Ouch! Don't worry, you'll laugh at this in a couple of weeks......maybe months.....probably years......

loopsy_fml 14

Sunday 21 October 2012 2:31

Or maybe never

TurtleSmile 14

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:13

Sounds like she has been wanting to hit you for some time and was just waiting for permission.

zandalee 19

Saturday 20 October 2012 7:55

I agree. Maybe this is the same guy who enjoys calling his wife a ****...

daliagrande 17

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:14

Well you asked for it.

meow234 6

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:16

Which cheek?

ciumegu 6

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:18

Kinky sex never hurts tho...

MelTheGreat 23

Saturday 20 October 2012 7:55

Unless it's anal.

klovemachine 24

Saturday 20 October 2012 8:06

Brown-eye girl :D

freshberries22 17

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:18

I think there's a safety word for that. Anyway tough break op next time be a little more specific on the types of hits you want to receive. Some people need specific instructions and clearly this was not her first time being a dominatrix. Aside from the fact that she almost maimed you, you now you have a funny story to talk about later on in life.

sicksadworld1317 30

Saturday 20 October 2012 7:19

Actually, it seems this was her first time being a Dominatrix. Had she any decent experience, she would have thought of the safety concerns before slapping and injuring him.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 20 October 2012 15:34

The safety word would have been "ouch!! Mutha f!!!!"

frogcement 2

Saturday 27 December 2014 5:01

BANANA! BANANA BANANA!!! LOL

teresee 8

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:18

Way to kill the mood

bestnameright 14

Saturday 20 October 2012 5:21

Seems like she'd be good at Egyptian Rat Screw.... "Owwww what the hell! No rings!" "You said you were supposed to slap the deck and your hand was on it...!"

dustbunny416 0

Saturday 20 October 2012 6:19

Haha! I love that game!

srgspartan117 8

Saturday 20 October 2012 6:42

Woot! More people who if I some how meet them somewhere randomly I know I can has entertainment playing that game!!! Have 20 diff kinds but rat skrew is by far the funniest...... Especially when they loose hahaha