Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up...

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 612

You deserved it 1 192

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 891

You deserved it 4 664

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 08:45 - Canada - Richmond

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 527

You deserved it 16 762

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 6 252

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

pleura 0

Monday 16 November 2009 0:01

Shut up, at least you're getting head.

Thatk1ddd 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 23:13

That's just, awkward...

Comments

Danceswithsmurfs 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 19:32

so what?! you got head and you have a girlfriend that obviously likes to give it to you!!!

omg2funny 1

Sunday 3 January 2010 20:36

Thats not FML.. you are just boasting.. I don't have a girl who does that.. FML..

SocialAnarchyX5 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 6:19

That is awesome!

syd_schs 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 4:00

you guys are pathetic this guy gets head and you don't? get over it. and I mean I wouldd never say that to a guy that would just make it awkward..

fuzz97 23

Tuesday 26 January 2010 6:10

I don't get it.

MyKillz 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 6:39

Nigga you gay!

wellaintit_irony 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 8:03

for some reason i just think this is my cousin jeremy, because only his gf is such a ******* wierdo.

sdfan1995 0

Friday 5 February 2010 4:26

yummy that's hot

gurlucrazy 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 6:14

that's adorable, don't complain that your girls giving u oral

nickperry21 4

Tuesday 23 February 2010 17:30

my ex has done this too! funny shit

jrey012 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 3:25

haha

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The Top

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 324

You deserved it 2 005

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 388

You deserved it 8 340

The Top

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 439

You deserved it 9 317

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 646

You deserved it 1 840

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 149

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 328

You deserved it 5 091

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 10 519

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 844

You deserved it 378