Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up... - FML

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 612

You deserved it 1 192

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 891

You deserved it 4 664

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 761

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 08:45 - Canada - Richmond

Spicy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 527

You deserved it 16 762

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 6 252

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

Next

Top comments

pleura 0

Monday 16 November 2009 0:01

Shut up, at least you're getting head.

Thatk1ddd 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 23:13

That's just, awkward...

Comments

jjesseroggaa 3

Tuesday 17 November 2009 7:00

Ehhh, yeah, that would pretty much ruin the mood though. I get what he's talking about.

jchansfan 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 7:03

Who cares...?

FruityLoooons 8

Tuesday 17 November 2009 7:03

I kinda get what he is talking about...but still. Dude, she's just teasing. Be happy you're even getting head.

DragonitePaladin 6

Tuesday 17 November 2009 7:08

That's frigging hilarious man. LOL

mschne7 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 18:09

what is she like four?

xdevotchkax 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 3:25

._. that was a lot of information in a small amount of words.

phatdaddy62 23

Wednesday 18 November 2009 20:38

You got a *******, and so exactly what is your complaint? This is no FML - It's a *******!

JENNABY 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 23:25

wow your such a loser...1 u can't take a little joke and 2 ur **** for complaining about ur girl giving u head.u should be happy that someone in ur life actualy wants o give u head and likes doing it and she even spices it up a little with her yummy yummy.lol you don't deserve head or your girlfriend lols.... loser :3

FruityLoooons 8

Thursday 19 November 2009 1:15

He didn't complain that his girlfriend was about to give him head, he just felt that her saying "yummy yummy yummy" was a turn off. I guess he just doesn't know what teasing is, the weirdo.

Sparkiee93 3

Thursday 19 November 2009 1:19

That's funny as hell. There are horny kids in Nigeria that don't get ******** now shut up and take it like a man XD

waterynuggets 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 9:09

LMAO I burst out laughing at this Yummy yummy yummy I got luv in my tummy and I feel like lovin you, love is such a sweet thang good enough to eat thang..

grimeysly 0

Monday 30 November 2009 17:11

i lol'ed

emodude44 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 1:21

See if she gave me head the I really wouldn't care what she said. As soon as she finished I'd pay her back.

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Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Cars ADHD Transportation Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Annoying Covid Health Kids Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 926

You deserved it 4 073

The Top

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 233

You deserved it 4 473

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 903

You deserved it 3 152

Today, I finally realized my husband sees our son and I as more of a financial burden than actually wanting to provide for us. Well, now what the fuck do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 283

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 260

Today, I got stuck with a water-damaged kitchen. The manufacturer says their warranty doesn't cover it as it's a user error, my insurance says they don't cover it as it's a manufacturer error. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 163

You deserved it 214

Today, I'm being ghosted by someone who said they wanted to meet up, but never texted me. She could've just said she wasn't interested, but instead we made plans. She kept writing back, saying how excited she was to meet me, and then I never heard from her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 90