Kids: Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom...

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 181

You deserved it 2 779

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Same thing different taste

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 665

You deserved it 3 040

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 368

You deserved it 2 785

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 653

You deserved it 961

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 208

Stay hydrated

By Time To Go - 23/09/2022 01:30

Today, my kid has severe diarrhoea. My husband said he was going out to get medicine. Two long, painful hours later, I find he's out eating and chilling with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 981

You deserved it 6 004

By Bonding_boys - 17/12/2012 16:21 - United States - Elk River

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 870

You deserved it 6 287

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 811

You deserved it 1 672

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 879

You deserved it 7 741

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 757

You deserved it 6 397

NoWayLady 13

Saturday 13 October 2012 14:50

Paranormal activity 6?

pinkalicious224 7

Saturday 13 October 2012 14:53

Call someone to come pick him up. Then you and your husband can get well and clean up the messes he made.

Comments

Metallica36176 16

Sunday 14 October 2012 5:07

Get a trash can with a bag in it. Carry it around with you. Do your shit and be comfortable on your phone OUT of the bathroom. Unless you have diarrhea....then the next time you're out, grab throwable objects and every time you hear something and he passes by throw something at him *sarcasm*

mylifebelike1234 6

Sunday 14 October 2012 14:10

Why would you have time too write an fml?, or even think about writing one?, like seriously wouldn't you be too sick too even think about that...wouldnt you be worried at the fact that your 3 year old child is running ramped in your house but you know i guess you have time too write an fml... lolwut

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Sunday 14 October 2012 18:25

Nobody ever uses a mobile device that can submit FML posts while stuck on the toilet for hours crapping their brains out. Nope that's never happened, ever in the history of time. People consistently just sit and wallow in the misery of food poisoning the whole time, and read books. They would never be sitting worrying about what their 3 year old is doing, unable to stop it, and think "well **** my life, hey I guess I have opportunity and reason to submit an FML." Nope couldn't happen.

Bludmagnus 13

Sunday 14 October 2012 22:21

If this is true, simple answer to teach your son a lesson. Put laxatives in his dessert and see how he likes being trapped and crapping and puking all night and day. Sometimes, the punishment has to fit the crime, so also spend the time laughing at him.