Transportation: Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a...

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By Snickers - 12/05/2012 04:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 54 099

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 428

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 311

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 45 709

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 22 014

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 433

You deserved it 43 492

By drkate25 - 18/12/2012 22:02 - United States - Enfield

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 866

You deserved it 30 573

By PulledOver - 01/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 973

You deserved it 54 827

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 767

You deserved it 18 701

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 466

You deserved it 3 236

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 734

You deserved it 46 556

klovemachine 24

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

It's just a candy bar. That's not worth getting a ticket for! YDI

IIRoxieII 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

Hahaha, WTF?

Comments

shawnaishere 14

Sunday 13 May 2012 0:30

The fitness police is coming better run better caught!

ActionManly 11

Sunday 13 May 2012 0:49

See this is why dieting is stupid.

Yousuck24 21

Sunday 13 May 2012 2:38

OMG OPZ YOU GOOT CAGHTZ EATING A CHOC BAR BY DA COPS UR LIVE IZ HORIBLE I HOPE 4 UR SAKES DAT THE COPZ WERE CONSITABLE OF UR MISAKES FYL FYL. Seriously OP, tell me one reason why you don't deserve it? Does it matter what people think of you? You can eat a chocolate bar AND still be on a diet. So why did you think endangering people's life's by running a red light to get away from a problem no one would really care about is the best solution? YDI.

midnight21 8

Monday 14 May 2012 8:10

I hate you because you talk like that. If you are going to write something, the least you can do is be respectful to the language. Asshole.

Yousuck24 21

Saturday 26 May 2012 1:32

Wait. Let me get this straight... Firstly, my first paragraph was a joke and I was imitating some stupid people who talk like this. Secondly, you hate me because you thought my joke was disrespectful to the English language? Maybe it was but no need to hate me for it.