Work: Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered...

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 952

You deserved it 3 640

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Cool nickname

By nearsighted-ut - 26/09/2019 02:00

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 126

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 3 361

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 12:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 016

You deserved it 4 001

By morgan_love11 - 05/06/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, I found out my sister has a nickname for me due to my recent breakouts. It's "volcano face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 364

You deserved it 4 839

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 920

You deserved it 1 205

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 3 994

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

By brutality - 15/06/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 4 122

By drucle - 18/03/2016 12:49 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 16 229

Heavy load

By alyssa ig idk - 21/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Taylor

Today, I realized why my sister has had so many fluids coming out of her, yet I was sick too and nothing was coming out. It's because everything I ate in the past 72 hours was piling up in my ass, and just came out as a monster 5 times bigger than normal, and left my ass on fire for 45 minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 156

MissRachieee 3

Saturday 25 December 2010 12:55

That seems to suck more for your sister.

EvilDoll 7

Saturday 25 December 2010 12:55

holy shit ...or the opposite?

Comments

beatleschick1940 9

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:10

somehow I think its worse for your sister

disco2466 8

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:21

haha nice nickname

elwooteh 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:33

Reminds me of that one Scary Movie where the priest (or somebody) is on the toilet, shouting "Release these demons from within!" xD

whattagirl 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:35

lmfao me too!

KVKdragon 26

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:35

if I were you, I'd be praying that they stopped and I'd also be asking them if it is righteous and not sinful to call someone that (or you can ask them how they'd feel if Jesus was watching, which he always is). this doesn't seem righteous to me or fair for you.

valri3 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 15:37

Naw I would rather tell them to stop or else.

nexttimeblue 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 20:00

If Jesus is paying attention to some kid on the toilet yelling about the devil he should get his priorities straight! 'World hunger...naaah...Global Warming...nahhh...Peace...naaahhh..what the?! some kid is yelling on the toilet! let's get on that shit!!'

blgjohnnyy 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 21:47

nobody cares about global warming though... haha

OvenproofToast 0

Friday 25 March 2011 3:54

CLIMATEGATE.....! Global Warming is a lie ,and all of our "deadly carbon emmisions " have only added 1 part per million of carbon dioxide.

lifes_a_b1tch 7

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:36

It could be worse...YOU could be fireshit. Roflmmfao!

livetodisco 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:45

THATS friggin funny!! I like her.

grashopper8 7

Saturday 25 December 2010 22:08

ditto!

derek208 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:45

man i hate butt demons.

rebwonders 0

Saturday 25 December 2010 13:55

that is hilarious! someone queue Johnny Cash... I'm going down down down in a burning ring of fire. and it burns burns burns. ring of fire.... or that guys sister! Merry Christmas!