Intimacy: Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee... - FML

By Username - 21/01/2011 01:41

Spicy

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said, "I'm cheap and I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 34 249

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Same thing different taste

By joanikens - 26/03/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 097

You deserved it 6 119

Cheap

By SmokeWeedErdayAllDay - 18/04/2020 17:00

Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 286

By Iron11 - 14/06/2016 20:52

Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 762

You deserved it 4 408

By negromancer - 11/07/2009 01:08 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 673

You deserved it 4 387

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 9 510

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

Fake news

By pig! - 20/10/2023 14:00

Spicy

Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 186

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 847

You deserved it 3 055

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 157

You deserved it 68 095

By nononame - 10/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 177

You deserved it 4 187

Next

Top comments

Skodos_fml 0

Friday 21 January 2011 9:02

She left you right? right?

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 21 January 2011 9:02

Sounds like the perfect women to me

Comments

SirEBC 7

Friday 21 January 2011 9:56

Reminds me of someone I know.

islandz 0

Friday 21 January 2011 9:56

"did I mention tht I com with a coupon to starbucks"

Airch 9

Friday 21 January 2011 9:56

Take it in context, I'd laugh and poke fun for a bit. But it's obviously a slip of the tongue :P I may or may not have just laughed quite loudly on a crowded train while reading this... Queue the awkwardness...

aims14 0

Monday 14 March 2011 2:48

that's an FML itself

KrazieKleo 13

Friday 21 January 2011 11:12

Guess there was no cream for the coffee...:)

Sionnach 10

Friday 21 January 2011 14:05

Think. THEN talk.

BayBeezy 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 0:03

amen!

Chris19801012 0

Friday 21 January 2011 14:29

Easy like Sunday morning.

sipher16 0

Friday 21 January 2011 14:56

it's not that uncommon. it was a joke between my last GF and I

Jizwold 0

Friday 21 January 2011 16:02

I think u missed one there is a brown child that doesn't have a hole in his head. it's ok we all run out of bullets at some point

bellaec825 4

Friday 21 January 2011 15:08

ha nice work lol :]

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Friday 21 January 2011 15:42

That is just funny!

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Friday 21 January 2011 16:19

Well, are you cheap and easy? Did you get laid? There are too many unanswered questions here.

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The Top

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 830

You deserved it 225

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 618

The Top

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 198

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 620

You deserved it 27 972

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 241

You deserved it 22 776

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 105

Today, I had a mandatory online meeting with a special work program early in the morning. Despite having insomnia for the past three weeks, I got up on time. No one has emailed me a meeting link, and no replies either. Now, I'm afraid I will lose what little "benefit" the government throws my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 98

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 086

You deserved it 30 404