Intimacy: Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee... - FML

By Username - 21/01/2011 01:41

Spicy

Today, while trying to explain to my date that a small coffee would be fine, I said, "I'm cheap and I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 34 249

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Same thing different taste

By joanikens - 26/03/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 097

You deserved it 6 119

Cheap

By SmokeWeedErdayAllDay - 18/04/2020 17:00

Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 286

By Iron11 - 14/06/2016 20:52

Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 762

You deserved it 4 408

By negromancer - 11/07/2009 01:08 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 673

You deserved it 4 387

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 9 510

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

Fake news

By pig! - 20/10/2023 14:00

Spicy

Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 186

By lamesauce - 15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 847

You deserved it 3 055

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 157

You deserved it 68 095

By nononame - 10/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 177

You deserved it 4 187

Next

Top comments

Skodos_fml 0

Friday 21 January 2011 9:02

She left you right? right?

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 21 January 2011 9:02

Sounds like the perfect women to me

Comments

Gemini253 0

Friday 21 January 2011 18:27

Ever think before speaking? I hope you eventually made it a great joke and didn't end up giving him head for a small cup of coffee like a real easy **** would do.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 21 January 2011 18:59

I like my women like I like my coffee. Cheap and easy. sometimes Bitter and cold.

borfo 0

Friday 21 January 2011 23:34

I like my women like I like my tea: hot and green.

YourLifeBlowsHaH 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 5:44

green?

alluneedisluv 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 3:51

green haha XD so she's an alien or sick?

Onlydie 0

Friday 21 January 2011 19:09

What a ****

guppy40000 0

Friday 21 January 2011 23:48

its good that you know yourself so well lol

CaptainJ1000 1

Saturday 22 January 2011 23:31

Can't back out now...

heyu7421 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 2:21

Laugh it off and go on with life. Pretend like it was said on purpose. For future reference, stay cool. Dont b so uptight! Thats funny! Guys like girls who joke and can laugh at them selves and their silly mishaps

agigantorllama 0

Monday 24 January 2011 6:15

Woops.

losanimal 2

Wednesday 26 January 2011 13:03

what can you say! its a recession out here

ScreamMeALuvSong 2

Monday 31 January 2011 20:33

This sounds like something that would happen to me...Lol

TheOtherMakona 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 5:19

When I read that, I got vibes that OP is a girl. If this is correct, the guy should've just laughed it off. No problem here. On the other hand, if OP is a guy, not so great. It's usually harder for most girls to laugh things off like that.

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The Top

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 978

You deserved it 4 590

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 249

You deserved it 4 935

Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 544

Today, after repeatedly telling my partner's family that our daughter is allergic to peanuts, his grandfather decided to feed her one, to "see if she really is allergic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 72

Today, I was at a bar. When asked if I wanted a refill of my coffee, I said yes, and moved the cup from my lap to the counter. As I did this, the waitress spilled hot coffee right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 280

You deserved it 3 267

Today, my friend borrowed my car and decided to get pulled over after a high speed chase. My car got towed in a town over 100 miles away. Choose your friends wisely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 341

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having a BDSM theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 761

You deserved it 4 687