Miscellaneous: Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated...

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By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 474

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Same thing different taste

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 698

You deserved it 4 340

By Anonymous - 12/09/2013 22:43 - United States - Toms River

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 112

You deserved it 3 961

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 263

You deserved it 388

Cool your jets, lady

By all puked out - 13/07/2014 21:14 - Netherlands

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 802

You deserved it 4 342

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 05:29 - United States - Madison

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 915

You deserved it 1 856

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 040

You deserved it 12 804

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 6 807

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 550

You deserved it 3 199

The ex from hell

By welpwelpwelp - 08/07/2015 17:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 002

You deserved it 1 960

Halcyon3210 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:05

He's not a part of your system!

kbt13 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:06

I like how you cheated on him without you guys actually being together.

Comments

lolasains 7

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:10

Find him a few days later take his phone and call him a two time cheater and become even!

corruptblackkat 17

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:11

thats when you snatch his head throw it on the ground and tell him not to touch anyone again

Glitterhinoceros 14

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:11

You will regret that no one day, when be becomes the next Bill Gates.

nwatso96 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:48

^ur rly pretty by the way

TheFunSideOfTheB 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:49

But if she went out with him what if that makes a difference in the future he will think i got the girl i might not need to be the next bill gates

TheFunSideOfTheB 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:54

Ur hot by the way

saIty 17

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:12

That's why you should try to avoid wearing two watches in the future. Makes you seem like a two timing *****.

LogoFoSho 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:15

Makeup Sex!???!! >:o

ChucktheNorris 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:15

I woulda chased after him, bitch slapped him, then chucked (CHUCK lmao) the broken phone at his head (oh yeah, I'm an attention *****)

ChucktheNorris 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:30

WTF THIS WAS HACKED I NEVER SAID IM AN ATTENTION *****;-/

ChucktheNorris 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:34

WHAT THE HELLLLL WHO EVER IS HACKING THIS GET THE FO OFFFFF

smellymellyy 7

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:16

No..

fvckyoursadlife 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:18

I think even if you said yes you'd still be a two timing *****.

CommonSenseKarma 17

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:20

Now see, this is why I carry a knife. Guns are too dangerous because they can kill people, tho.

FarSide 22

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:43

Not if you shoot them in the pinky toe.

CommonSenseKarma 17

Tuesday 2 August 2011 2:52

Yeah, um, "can", not "will", but thanks for trying ^_^

Ins0mau 20

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:16

Pardon me to be stating the obvious, but knives can actually kill people quite easily as well...

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:28

So can knives, buddy. So much for common sense.

Iamaninchworm 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:57

Tbh its would be easier to shoot a person in an appendage than to chase after somebody and then stabbing a non vital region with said knife. And less likely to kill somebody if shot in the chest rather than stabbed due to less surface area.