Miscellaneous: Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated...

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By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 474

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Same thing different taste

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 698

You deserved it 4 340

By Anonymous - 12/09/2013 22:43 - United States - Toms River

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 112

You deserved it 3 961

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 264

You deserved it 388

Cool your jets, lady

By all puked out - 13/07/2014 21:14 - Netherlands

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 802

You deserved it 4 342

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 05:29 - United States - Madison

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 915

You deserved it 1 856

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 040

You deserved it 12 804

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 6 807

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 551

You deserved it 3 199

The ex from hell

By welpwelpwelp - 08/07/2015 17:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 003

You deserved it 1 960

Halcyon3210 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:05

He's not a part of your system!

kbt13 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:06

I like how you cheated on him without you guys actually being together.

Comments

Happiness2Joy 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:31

That would of been so awkward...

ShawnzieNstuff 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:41

I liked 91s comment just because of the name and pic combo. Haha

amuck 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:42

eating ratburgers and roachfries from sewer king the underground fast food joint found in any major cities sewer system :D

The_Bug 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:45

Wow,someone isn't good with relationships xD

jorge3799 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:49

That's crazy

bking324 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 7:57

So I threw it on the ground

LizzJizz 16

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:02

You guys could've made Lady &The Tramp part3 D: ...shoulda just said yes

Kammasaurus_Sex 7

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:23

It would be something new, for sure.

Bizzzy 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:39

shoulda slapped that tramp!

iluvumike412_ 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 9:06

Wow. half the comments on here don't make any sense, lol. can't tell if these r teens or adults acting like teenagers XD

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Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Annoying Cheating Intimacy Sex Health Embarrassing Sports Coworkers Work Kids Parenting Cute Weird Babysitter Love Geek Healthy Lifestyle AITA Poopoo peepee Birthday Surprise My ex Money Relationship advice Mental health Family Music

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Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 233

You deserved it 3 927

Today, I gave birth two weeks early. Everyone is telling me I should be so happy she's healthy, but all I can think is how much I did not want a Taurus baby. I wanted a Gemini baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 391

The Top

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 012

You deserved it 3 373

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 716

You deserved it 3 713

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 6 272

Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 221

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 30 014

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 498

You deserved it 6 313

Same thing different taste

Cool your jets, lady

Awww, my feefees

The ex from hell

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