Animals: Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick...

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By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 623

You deserved it 647

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 301

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 823

You deserved it 4 130

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 670

You deserved it 5 484

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 838

You deserved it 6 935

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 817

You deserved it 38 050

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 344

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 022

You deserved it 97 613

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 153

By Mr Pippin - 09/09/2018 22:00

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 341

Slippin' and a slidin'

By Imnotfromhere - 05/03/2022 04:00

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 141

Frabens 1

Wednesday 21 December 2016 14:25

To anybody who wondered how chocolate frogs were made in Harry Potter... You now know.

mohamed_H 21

Wednesday 21 December 2016 13:08

*incoming overused pun in 3 2 1* That must have been a shitty situation hehe, i'll show myself out :(

Comments

NeneJPhilly 8

Wednesday 21 December 2016 22:30

You deserved to scream like a little girl. I would have had a heart-attack if poop leapt at me.

kutkutkut 8

Thursday 22 December 2016 1:35

you are not alone, i would've screamed too.

Bogrbon 27

Thursday 22 December 2016 2:59

At least you weren't the frog...

brucee1119 8

Thursday 22 December 2016 3:03

Sorry OP. This is the funniest FML ever. Your dog has an amazing sense of humor.

caw912 0

Thursday 22 December 2016 6:44

chocolate frog anyone? lol

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Thursday 22 December 2016 16:01

Alternatively, it could be that your dog just shat out a live frog.... Either way, FYL!

dblogic 19

Friday 23 December 2016 6:21

Holy jumping shitballs Batman!!

toesparkle 13

Sunday 25 December 2016 8:26

That sucks, but thank you for picking up after your dog.

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