Health: Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 696

You deserved it 13 857

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 571

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 137

You deserved it 403

Multitasking

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 768

You deserved it 44 246

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 4 020

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 339

You deserved it 432

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 884

You deserved it 3 776

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 320

You deserved it 27 726

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 250

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 041

By soccercrazed1520 - 13/01/2010 21:40 - France

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 309

You deserved it 4 391

Next

Top comments

mattdanfrank 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:38

I've wading through the winging people and found you. You're not harping on about periods, pregnancies or being caught smoking weed - you poked yourself in your eye with your toothbrush, and for that you have my admiration. If anything can sum up the whole meaning of this site, it's poking yourself in the eye with your toothbrush. F*** my toothbrush, f*** my morning, f*** my life, I've just poked myself in my eye with my f***ing toothbrush F***! Excellent.

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 4:05

How do you fall asleep while brushing your teeth... ? O_O

Comments

hurley12 30

Sunday 3 February 2013 9:19

How do you fall asleep while brushing your teeth? Haha!

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Thursday 25 April 2013 0:01

Very nice:) but how exactly?>.

mmcewen 15

Monday 27 October 2014 4:20

Seriously how the hell do you fall asleep while brushing your teeth??

RyoAuditore 9

Wednesday 22 April 2015 2:10

How?

carbonbasedcynic 17

Wednesday 23 September 2015 15:20

sounds like a typical monday morning

danm_1 28

Tuesday 3 May 2016 6:07

I've almost brushed the inside of my nose a couple of times while brushing my teeth half asleep. I'm sorry, OP. perhaps you should sit up in bed, when you wake up, and just stretch for a bit, before you attempt to brush your teeth.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Kids Babysitter Technology Dating Embarrassing Geek Poopoo peepee Family Annoying Work Proposal Awkward Health Autism Food Jealousy Animals Scary Gross Insomnia Relationship advice Miscellaneous Neighbours Friends Bodyshaming Intimacy Sex Money Parents

The Top

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 366

You deserved it 51 871

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 years-old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother with shocked look and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 227

You deserved it 21 434

The Top

Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 587

You deserved it 45 372

Today, a total Karen climbed into my passenger seat and told me she was going to give me a bad Uber review for being late. I ain’t no Uber driver, but she refused to believe me. I had to call the police to get her out of my car. They had to taser her to get her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 140

Today, my family was going to have lunch with my parents' friends, who have a kid my age who is very similar to me, and is really cute. I wanted their number to see if it could turn into something beyond friendship, so I dressed up cute and did extra flawless makeup. All for the lunch to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 209

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 797

You deserved it 113 174

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 103