Work, Weird, Awkward and Love: Tonight, on First Dates… - FML

Tonight, on First Dates…

By James C - 18/04/2012 08:48 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 4 620

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 309

You deserved it 4 676

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 2 947

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 2 796

By nikto - 03/06/2011 01:01

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 045

You deserved it 3 957

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 384

You deserved it 1 512

By The Doc - 07/06/2016 22:41

Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 639

You deserved it 1 393

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By anonymous - 14/07/2015 17:28 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 2 644

By firstdate - 24/01/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 259

You deserved it 5 325

By clairebear104 - 19/09/2014 03:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 219

You deserved it 4 100

Next

Top comments

yoursucklives 36

Wednesday 18 April 2012 15:54

well you know, internet ads are kinda annoying...

lk2481 4

Wednesday 18 April 2012 15:54

Guess she doesn't like advertisements....

Comments

ooyt453 1

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:35

In soviet Russia advertisements make you

elinachka 7

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:39

Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka costs less Than dinner for two.......

irrevelant 10

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:44

New job: parking warden. You'll get a date in no time

elephantom12 9

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:50

Exactly what 44 said. The only reason why you're still watching videos on YouTube are because of those ads. If you don't like them there is a simple solution to that. Open Internet browser --> google --> Adblock plus --> Download. No more ads.

ayyemmcee 1

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:51

Sooooo....no second date?

sidviciousmum 3

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:52

U gotta love an aggressive woman

thew_fml 14

Wednesday 18 April 2012 16:55

next time say "i'm a writer"

Darcon 8

Wednesday 18 April 2012 17:20

Sew her ass!

Darcon 8

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:40

With a knife and rope of course!

DontModMeDammit 10

Wednesday 18 April 2012 17:41

Look up ad blocker add ons for your browser, I got one and have not had to watch an ad since.

jeanniecm1984 17

Wednesday 18 April 2012 17:49

At least you dodged that bullet. She's crazy.

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Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Customers Fat Bodyshaming Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 254

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear keyring. I had to explain that although many grown women like cuddly toys, I don't. And even if I did, a filthy, soaking wet bear he found in a puddle on the street is not a nice gesture, despite his suggestion I can just wash it in the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 452

You deserved it 1 389

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 227

You deserved it 11 391

Today, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The catch? I'm on my step-dad's insurance and without it, I will no longer be able to receive my absolutely crucial mental health medication, on which, no exaggeration, my life depends upon. I'm cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 101

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 107

Today, I spoke to Friend A and Friend B, with whom I'd had arguments with in the past. Those arguments caused me to leave a group chat. When I want to settle things with Friend B, they told me, "Don't come back to the group chat. It'll make everyone happier if you stay out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 479

Today, I was on a date, and I mentioned that I'm divorced, he was fine with that. I said I have two kids, he was fine with that. I mentioned the youngest is autistic, he was not fine with that, got up, and left so fast saying he wants nothing to do with kids like that. I was left with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 261