Mother in law, Farts and Kids: Toot toot!

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Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, trying to make my 6 year-old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "Toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say, "Daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 099

You deserved it 50 278

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Same thing different taste

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 511

You deserved it 30 137

It's the thought that counts

By Mommy - 23/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Winchester

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I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 172

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 14 098

By NooOOooOO - 11/10/2017 23:15

Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 049

You deserved it 341

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 190

You deserved it 7 697

F*** my overweight life

By Xibalba - 01/09/2020 14:02

Today, my 5-year-old daughter drew a picture of our family. A typical drawing for a 5-year-old. Sticks and straws. One had two round shapes on its chest. "Is that mommy and is that one me?" I asked. "No daddy," she said. "You’re this one," she said while pointing out the one with boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 477

Picasso in training

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 167

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 2 973

It's true, though

By humiliated - 20/03/2016 11:54 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 151

You deserved it 2 363

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 363

Sessee 4

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:09

Well, when I was a kid, my mom told me that lowercase M's are basically upside-down butts. Of course, I shared that with my entire kindergarten class.

lizwriteslove 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:02

Good job.

Comments

rhianna060 8

Saturday 9 May 2009 7:05

LOL thats great. MY MIL is a total bitch too.. she called my 1 year old a street walker once for wearing a skirt above her knees. ( my daughter is rather skinny and tall JUST LIKE HER SON WAS) and yes i mean a one year old.

FlatBaby 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 12:13

Haha I don't think thats bad, kids love this kinda stuff^.^

flippinsweet17 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 16:03

I hate it when people use the same adjective two or more times in one paragraph. Especially when it's as simple to substitute as 'extremely'. Awfully, enormously, incredibly, extraordinarily, amazingly, et cetera... Sorry for going all psycho about it, but it just seems to be a pet peeve of mine.

HexagonsSuck 0

Monday 25 May 2009 18:56

If my dad that now aday I would still laugh at it.

StopBeingADouche 0

Monday 1 June 2009 7:26

I'm glad everyone thinks this dad is awesome. Because he is.

butteredbuns 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 21:28

Wow. Grammy!! Guess what daddy taught me!

ivals 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 4:01

I wouldn't do that, shes so young

smartone23 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:28

dumbass. there are other ways to teach kids how to laugh!

DLT_17 0

Monday 26 October 2009 5:58

screw the mother-in-law. what kind of mother can't appreciate her own daughter's laughter and happiness. Be the cool one because you are the only one with any common sense. *storms out* mothers these days pissing me off