Intimacy, Sex and Dreams: Totally? Really?

Totally? Really?

By honk honk, fuckwad - 06/11/2015 22:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 969

You deserved it 6 006

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Wales

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 190

You deserved it 24 248

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 557

You deserved it 5 533

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 11:23 - Sweden

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 6 654

By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:20 - United States - Barnhart

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 640

You deserved it 8 171

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 920

You deserved it 5 025

Dreaming of me

By forever alone - 30/08/2016 13:55 - Trinidad and Tobago - San Fernando

Today, I had a terrible dream where my aunt paid a stripper to have sex with me, since I'm 27 and haven't even kissed a guy yet. I ended up taking the dream-stripper to the mall for snacks instead. Even my dreams are mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 791

You deserved it 1 657

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 878

You deserved it 41 392

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 032

You deserved it 4 682

Hottttt

By whatthefuck - 27/12/2015 23:22 - United States - Providence

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 620

You deserved it 5 721

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 342

You deserved it 4 029

jonomc 12

Saturday 7 November 2015 8:54

This whole FML leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

allforfun 23

Saturday 7 November 2015 8:50

At least you didn't wake up next to him

Comments

loubabe69 19

Sunday 8 November 2015 19:27

Awe man that sucks!!! Hahaha you walked right into that one.

lalaney 14

Sunday 8 November 2015 19:36

Not being 100% straight isn't grounds for therapy, OP. That's normal.

milmac 9

Sunday 8 November 2015 21:27

"I'm a totally straight male". Ummmm.... no. You're not.

drrobotnik1 18

Sunday 8 November 2015 22:12

"I'm a totally straight male"

Jwaye2 7

Monday 9 November 2015 2:20

A dream about giving JB a ******* and a nightmare about giving JB a ******* say two very different things. But in all seriousness even if you do have those thoughts there is nothing wrong with that.