Awkward, Drugs and Health: Tough guy, huh?

Tough guy, huh?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 44 306

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 264

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

By Stephen - 24/03/2012 21:07 - Sweden

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 291

You deserved it 3 915

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 797

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 132

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 17:36 - United States

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 961

You deserved it 5 449

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 259

xxmel 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:32

You lied, so now you have to put up with the consequences.

purpadurp 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:32

So many levels of fail -_-

Comments

bobbeta30 14

Friday 15 June 2012 5:37

Why are you hanging out with crack addicts? It's difficult to feel bad for you.

OncomingStorm 4

Friday 15 June 2012 9:16

I studied at prydon on Galifrey! You?

g0ldenb0nes 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:37

I don't feel bad for you in any way what so ever OP.

NothernNightmare 18

Friday 15 June 2012 5:40

Not even a little bad that OP suffered so much pain from plywood boards?

g0ldenb0nes 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:42

Nope

auzz1_pride 9

Friday 15 June 2012 5:47

How heartless of you 16, I know what it feels like to get hit with something similar to plywood, and I gotta say it doesn't feel good :L

g0ldenb0nes 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:53

All sympathy for the OP is lost after reading the full FML.

auzz1_pride 9

Friday 15 June 2012 5:55

Oh thank god, I was starting to think you had no sympathy to begin with.

maxisis_fml 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:40

Good luck with your friends using you like that. You are going to need it.

perdix 29

Friday 15 June 2012 5:42

Why the phony story? DId you tell people how it really happened and they got board?

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 15 June 2012 6:10

He just wanted to seem like a stud, but got nailed.

perdix 29

Friday 15 June 2012 7:04

She saw his wood, and it didn't cut it.

BunchieRules 31

Friday 15 June 2012 9:41

I guess that's when he realized fake stories aren't all they're cracked up to be.

Halti 4

Saturday 16 June 2012 0:43

legend

Axipiter 24

Friday 15 June 2012 5:42

You actually failed before you got smacked by some planks by hanging out with crackheads who would use you. Step one, find new friends. Step two, stop trying to look tough, pussy.