Awkward, Drugs and Health: Tough guy, huh?

Tough guy, huh?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 44 306

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 745

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 264

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

By Stephen - 24/03/2012 21:07 - Sweden

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 291

You deserved it 3 915

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 797

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 132

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 17:36 - United States

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 961

You deserved it 5 449

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 259

xxmel 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:32

You lied, so now you have to put up with the consequences.

purpadurp 6

Friday 15 June 2012 5:32

So many levels of fail -_-

Comments

ktizzley2k 8

Friday 15 June 2012 6:44

Crackheads as friends? You deserve it...all of it.

darkangel752 2

Friday 15 June 2012 6:46

Why are you friends with crack heads?? Not the smartest thing in the world right there.... Moral of the story..... Tell the truth, even if it makes you look not so cool.

lexi365 20

Friday 15 June 2012 6:50

Run!!!

carbon_elf 0

Friday 15 June 2012 6:50

LOOK OUT WE GOT A "BADASS" OVER HERE!

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Friday 15 June 2012 6:57

This is why we don't lie to friends to hype up our image. I'm sure if they were your real friends, they would laugh for a little and move on. Everyone's got an off day.

MikeGel 6

Friday 15 June 2012 7:09

Stop hanging out with crack heads...Problem solved

stary1722 6

Friday 15 June 2012 7:11

Why was OP's face getting intimate with several plywood boards? O.o

OMGemily 1

Friday 15 June 2012 7:44

Maybe you shouldn't have friends that do crack

mechmarine 0

Friday 15 June 2012 7:45

So your face survived plywood... congratulations. Now let's see how it does against a bullet after your dumbass friends piss off a dealer and then call in their "muscle." YDI OP