Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 390

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By hiccups - 13/01/2013 06:15 - United States - Canton

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 832

By sleepless - 18/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year-old man with a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 3 529

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 267

Hushhhh

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 16:14 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 768

You deserved it 3 099

By purpletrout - 30/11/2016 06:39 - United States - Lansing

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 416

You deserved it 1 135

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 969

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 156

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 112

You deserved it 41 513

The babysitter's handbook

By ACHOOOOOOO - 14/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 166

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:18

Maybe she listens better to someone who sounds authoritative. Were you politely asking her to go to bed or actually telling her?

Grizz8831 14

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:25

who is she directly related to? it could be that she is pushing back on you if she grew up with you Prior to your SO. or that you don't sound authoritative enough. Guys tend to have a deeper rougher voice so it is easier, same with animal's we had 2 dogs that would not listen to my mother or sister or my high pitched brother... And... if you are not blood related but he is, then she could be pushing boundaries.

Comments

millsjoshua949 12

Sunday 9 August 2020 5:55

Kids have a tendency to listen to a man. It's really infuriating.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:13

Not really, kids will listen to whoever they think gives good orders. In this case, I suspect it's just funny hearing a grown-up say 'naughty' things. If you haven't tried the joy of the censored 'Go the (bleep) to sleep' with a kid, I highly recommend it.

mccuish 25

Sunday 9 August 2020 8:24

Red flag

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:18

Maybe she listens better to someone who sounds authoritative. Were you politely asking her to go to bed or actually telling her?

Grizz8831 14

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:25

Dellarica Bingelli 3

Wednesday 12 August 2020 15:04

Yikes- I hope you don’t have kids with that jerk. Not before some major anger management and parenting courses, geez. You don’t speak to children like that. If it’s not okay to say (or scream) to adults, it’s sure as hell not okay to say to kids. That kind of behavior is a giant red flag.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 13 August 2020 4:44

What are you on about? The damn kid herself found it funny, and it was clearly said in jest. Most adults would get this, which begs the question of why you and mccuish have missed it.