Kids, Housework and Toys: Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His...

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 267

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
When technology meets shopping, expect stories as surprising as an unexpected click! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Childish but effective

By unhappy wifey - 28/09/2012 06:09 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 441

You deserved it 4 020

Helpless

By Anonymous - 11/01/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my husband actually helped put our 4 year-old to bed because I was watching my nephews, who were about to be picked up. When I was sitting with my nephews in the living room, he yelled for me to help with our daughter. I said I couldn’t and he told me to shut up. I put her to bed every other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 138

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 3 863

Alone time

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as a prank, I told my husband I was going to sleep alone in the spare room, just to see his panicked reaction. Not only did he not panic, he agreed straight away, then an hour later announced he was going to bed a whole three hours earlier than normal. I can hear him in there, watching TV, eating snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 084

Chainsaw

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 130

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 524

Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 390

By Ladycakes - 04/06/2012 10:13 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 6 924

By savanah_aaron - 31/03/2017 20:00

Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 723

Funny to him

By Binkplugged - 05/07/2016 18:01

Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 1 869

Spencer Cookson 4

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:14

Next time they ask you when dinner is just snore and pretend to be asleep

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:25

He's a piss poor example of a father... Did you tell toddler to cut out the act and pick up toys before you throw them out?

Comments

Mooglefox 23

Thursday 29 August 2019 22:05

Kids do learn very fast

Srom_fml 14

Thursday 29 August 2019 22:20

Well you know what they say... the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Spencer Cookson 4

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:14

Next time they ask you when dinner is just snore and pretend to be asleep

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:25

He's a piss poor example of a father... Did you tell toddler to cut out the act and pick up toys before you throw them out?

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:26

As for the husband, I would enact the water gun... squirt him till he gets up to do something...

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 29 August 2019 23:29

I'm going to comment on this story ... zzz, zzz, zzz!

Ksweety_fml 27

Friday 30 August 2019 1:05

lmmfao... this cracked me up!

alycion 38

Friday 30 August 2019 10:14

If you did actually let your husband out of the chore, you sort of reinforced in your little sponge that it works. But still, it sucks when you can’t get a little help around the house. I like to do laundry strikes where I just wash my own clothes. When he’s out of clean work clothes or fishing clothes, he really gets everything in shape. I have him utterly confused with the stain removers and multiple detergents for things. He has no idea what to use, and he knows the wrong thing will destroy his clothes. I really should throw it out, but it’s my ammo to get things done.

blondie45 21

Saturday 31 August 2019 6:09

Monkey see, monkey do...

0neiros 14

Wednesday 4 September 2019 23:56

Oh Yeah, ANYTHING for him, dinner, sex, conversation, fake snore and sleep. Do it til he's begging you to stop. As for Jr. a quick swat will put an end to that crap.