Health, Gross and Cleaning: Toxic wasteland - FML

Toxic wasteland

By Cinderella - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 150

You deserved it 2 605

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By lollerskate - 16/01/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 266

You deserved it 37 847

The little alarm that cried wolf

By Nice smoke alarm - 05/09/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 116

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 370

Lint kills

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 00:00

Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 110

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 660

You deserved it 3 326

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 05:31 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 438

You deserved it 4 848

Fire…?

By Ashley - 14/10/2019 22:00

Today, two out of our three smoke detectors were going off. My grandpa won't call the fire department because he thinks our house will be condemned. The alarms are still going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 166

Cooking with Anon

By Anon - 08/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, after meaning to do so for a while, I began cleaning my oven. I sprayed it with the foam cleaner stuff, closed the oven for the foam to soak in, then forgot about the whole thing. Later, I preheated the oven for a pizza and triggered a smoke alarm, which brought the fire department to my door. No pizza, just shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 596

By fire starter - 16/08/2015 04:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 146

You deserved it 2 106

Next

Top comments

Kurliez408 32

Sunday 9 July 2017 15:34

dust shouldn't have anything to do with setting off a smoke detector. how are you cleaning it?

msshaila 3

Sunday 9 July 2017 16:31

It does, smoke detectors sense a change in particle density in the air... not actually smoke.

Comments

Kurliez408 32

Sunday 9 July 2017 15:34

dust shouldn't have anything to do with setting off a smoke detector. how are you cleaning it?

msshaila 3

Sunday 9 July 2017 16:31

It does, smoke detectors sense a change in particle density in the air... not actually smoke.

azouwa 26

Monday 10 July 2017 0:53

If the filter gets dirty enough it'll go off. The detectors can't tell the difference between dust and smoke. I have to clean my filters every few years with air duster for this reason.

onceuponatime456 16

Sunday 9 July 2017 16:19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Nova Solarius 10

Sunday 9 July 2017 20:05

Oh no, that's most certainly possible. Dust blocks radiation just like smoke does, so it can set detectors off just fine.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 9 July 2017 17:19

You’d better get out of the house! A dust explosion could happen if your house is that dusty!

Neevster 18

Sunday 9 July 2017 20:18

I don't know why people are giving you the thumbs down. An excessive amount of dust actually is a fire risk, and if a fire starts there could be an explosion. That's why there have been devastating explosions in mills with lots of flour

dancegypsy 0

Sunday 9 July 2017 20:12

It's happened to me, when using a vacuum that is not well sealed. Smoke detectors can be fooled.

brenton490 19

Sunday 9 July 2017 20:23

Well I mean if your going to use a flame thrower yaaa!

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 9 July 2017 21:36

Even the smoke detector thinks the house needs to be cleaned.

Arashikage 18

Monday 10 July 2017 20:18

What are you cleaning it with, a flamethrower???

willachawn01 3

Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:59

bulls**t do you even know how smoke detector works? it detects ions that are only found when carbon based things burn

olga_crvjl 19

Thursday 13 July 2017 8:00

Lmao wow

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The Top

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 139

Today, I realized my breasts look like sweat socks and my ass is sagging so much, it slaps the back of my legs. My neck has grown three chins, and I have put on 40 lbs. Yes, the golden years are here at last, and they can certainly kiss my ass. Happy 50th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 522

The Top

Today, a patient explained to me what treatment he thought I was supposed to give him by showing me a TikTok video. For one, I'm a surgeon, not a dentist, but even if I was, I wouldn't do root canal treatments at 2 a.m. in an emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 77

Today, I went into work thinking it was my last day before I start my new job, as my 2-week notice said to the managers that I can't work after today. None of them believed that I was actually capable of getting a better job and thought my 2-week notice was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 976

Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 117

Today, my husband moved out while I was out of town. The only thing of his he left behind was a copy of Paradise Lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 144

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 886

You deserved it 2 138

Today, I went out to dinner with a cute, funny, smart, amazing girl. Or at least I thought she was cute, until she started coughing after her meal. She explained that she coughs after she eats. Can you say dealbreaker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 814