Wanker and Intimacy: Troubling

Troubling

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 23 291

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 815

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 239

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 835

You deserved it 19 099

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 9 163

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 18 025

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 178

You deserved it 4 027

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 41 627

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 502

MoMonster 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:03

spiders are quite sexy. eight legs for MAXIMUM pleasure. xD

schwiggidy 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:09

you were masturbating UNDER a spider

Comments

ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:38

ah, she likey the hairy legs!

xJaypex 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:42

In Russia, spider pleasures you!!!

bibobobonnor 8

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:47

that one is getting very old #30

mredgecrusher 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 13:55

#30. You mean "in Soviet Russia the spider pleasures itself to you. "

xStiina 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:48

hahahaha.

tttiffany 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:57

I ********** to spiders all the time.

emodude44 0

Saturday 18 December 2010 9:22

8 Long Sexy Legs... mmmm... kinky...

hkgirl89 8

Wednesday 15 December 2010 10:06

ewwwwwwww lol

quadder 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 10:08

spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can

lulzaroonie 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 10:14

that spider was watching yoooou

bubblej614 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 10:43

like a spiderman spider or like a kill with my shoe spider.... lol jk

ObeseSnail 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:01

lmfu..that's sad

aadk 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:07

lmfu??

nephilim241 19

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:08

I can just imagine the spider's submission: "today, I was hanging out on the ceiling minding my own business, a human was on her bed beneath me pleasuring herself. She stared at me while she finished FML"