Wanker and Intimacy: Troubling

Troubling

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 480

You deserved it 23 291

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Same thing different taste

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 815

Hey there little buddy

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 239

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 835

You deserved it 19 099

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 9 163

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 18 025

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 178

You deserved it 4 027

By Arachnaphobic - 22/11/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 807

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 41 627

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 502

MoMonster 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:03

spiders are quite sexy. eight legs for MAXIMUM pleasure. xD

schwiggidy 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 9:09

you were masturbating UNDER a spider

Comments

ingridpingrid 4

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:24

eeew, thats nasty...

grapisy 8

Saturday 25 June 2011 23:40

You get a thumbs up because I laughed when I saw your picture. The comment itself is boring and unimaginative.

carcinogan 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:42

wait..this made no sense..at all..spider on the ceiling..and you were over it? oh boy...

xxmollyxx 25

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:56

Think before you type.

iamsexxychick9 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 4:27

I don't think op meant over as in on top of but more like over as in because of or about. maybe u should think of ulterior meanings b4 judging ppl pissy pants.

DynamicDave 11

Wednesday 15 December 2010 11:54

Lol, this instantly reminded me of the FML where the guy found a spider in his sock after masturbating. Maybe you two should hook up! You already have a fetish in common

Danny_B 4

Wednesday 15 December 2010 14:27

and ur comment reminds me of the guy who came home after a long day and stripped to take a shower and found that he had a spider in his underwar all day. lol.

tttiffany 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 18:09

I remember that one! lmfaoooo

AdobeAlf 2

Wednesday 15 December 2010 22:09

Spiders are starting to get too close to humans.

dre_bro11 12

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:09

OP, your saying you looked at the spider absent mindedly, meaning you didn't concerntrate on it, which doesnt mean ur masturbating over it. it's just like you looking at the sink while ur masturbatig. ur not masturbating over the sink are you!??

robc32ca 4

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:11

turned on by the spider or that the spider was watching you?

mylifesucksserio 15

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:43

how highs your ceiling

Diplomatz 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:52

F the spiders life.

MfailK 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:53

freak

stevenmx86 7

Wednesday 15 December 2010 13:02

Well if he just happened to be in your field of view then that's not true.. You were probably doing the action to your thoughts and a spider happened to be in view.. Unless you were like "oooh spider... Yeah".. But either way ydi...