Gross and Health: TW: Gross

TW: Gross

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 424

You deserved it 2 835

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Same thing different taste

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 21:00

Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 158

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 137

Help yourself

By meghandix89 - 20/12/2016 01:35 - United States

Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 754

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 02/08/2015 09:16 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 244

You deserved it 2 875

Keep your distance

By Anonymous - 12/04/2020 08:00

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 173

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 402

Smug knob

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 368

Sigma grindset

By brokenarm - 03/03/2010 16:46 - Germany

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to "be a man and deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 968

You deserved it 7 917

Doortje 29

Monday 14 February 2011 9:10

Drag his ass to the doctor, or well, his penis really. Just hold on to it (I recommend wearing gloves) and don't let go until you put him in a chair in the doctor's office. Freaking nasty roommate, yuck. FYL.

capt_awesome1 11

Monday 14 February 2011 9:10

I would not touch any of his personal stuff, or use his sheets/bed !

Comments

lordcaliburx 0

Monday 14 February 2011 9:26

he just has a fever. and the only thing that can cure it is more cow bell.

jjflashpoint 0

Monday 14 February 2011 14:40

win^

dezinspaaace 0

Monday 14 February 2011 9:33

that is absolutely disgusting of your friend to not go see a doctor. wtf is he thinking? drag his ass to the doctor yourself if you have to!

Garytt 0

Monday 14 February 2011 9:38

sissors

IMveryHUNGRY 3

Monday 14 February 2011 9:43

lol

CakeSlicer 0

Monday 14 February 2011 9:56

scissors*

snowfox_fml 10

Monday 14 February 2011 10:09

lmao

RufusCade 7

Monday 14 February 2011 9:53

Soap?

krazy_glu3 0

Monday 14 February 2011 10:02

reminds me of the dane cook skit about guys refusing to admit they have an STD. hah!

meezydagreat 0

Monday 14 February 2011 10:02

that's effin gross dude

Jimboom 11

Monday 14 February 2011 10:05

Probably caught something from your mama

CallMeHush 0

Monday 14 February 2011 10:40

Tell him to get his "Rice Bowl" to the doctor before it spreads, like to you. There's no telling what he has contaminated with his infected pud. Don't use the mayo.