Gross and Health: TW: Gross

TW: Gross

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 424

You deserved it 2 835

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Same thing different taste

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 21:00

Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 158

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 137

Help yourself

By meghandix89 - 20/12/2016 01:35 - United States

Today, my aunt asked me to have my 13-year-old autistic cousin stay over for the night. When he got here, he told me his mom forgot his Vaseline, and asked if I'd be a dear and go get some for him. His mom informed me that he uses it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 847

You deserved it 754

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 02/08/2015 09:16 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 244

You deserved it 2 875

Keep your distance

By Anonymous - 12/04/2020 08:00

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 173

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 402

Smug knob

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got his results from the doctor: the weeping sore under his foreskin isn’t an STD like I accused him of, it’s merely a bacterial skin infection from not washing his penis. He’s acting all smug, like not cheating on me somehow makes up for being a bacteria-ridden petri dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 368

Sigma grindset

By brokenarm - 03/03/2010 16:46 - Germany

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to "be a man and deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 968

You deserved it 7 917

Doortje 29

Monday 14 February 2011 9:10

Drag his ass to the doctor, or well, his penis really. Just hold on to it (I recommend wearing gloves) and don't let go until you put him in a chair in the doctor's office. Freaking nasty roommate, yuck. FYL.

capt_awesome1 11

Monday 14 February 2011 9:10

I would not touch any of his personal stuff, or use his sheets/bed !

Comments

Johnnycobra 0

Monday 14 February 2011 11:43

give him a blumpkin

at1325 0

Monday 14 February 2011 13:02

nasty mother ****** what is blowing him while he ***** gonna do to fix this problem? that's just gonna give op whatever the hell disease the roommate has in his mouth. and bumpkins themselves are ******* nasty.

freight48 0

Monday 14 February 2011 15:36

Relax you fat bitch. it's a ******* joke.

cooper1234 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 0:30

yeah u should know u have experience

babyblue666 1

Monday 14 February 2011 11:57

do another fml when it falls off

Hevysett88 1

Monday 14 February 2011 12:13

yeast infection

TaTaTanyaHo 5

Monday 14 February 2011 16:06

Do yeast infections usually smell?

aardvarkish 15

Monday 14 February 2011 20:04

55, Yes! I get them all the time. I even have nicknames for the different smells produced by each variety, and at progressive stages of the infection.

TaTaTanyaHo 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:10

Ewww!

sunnysurfchick 0

Monday 14 February 2011 12:20

I keep wondering he is using that thing in the condition it's in? What creature gave that to him? she must be a real ho.

WhiteZoneRedZone 6

Monday 14 February 2011 12:35

This is why they invented condoms. Anyway, your roommate needs to stop acting like a dick and go to the doctor.

jc302406 3

Monday 14 February 2011 14:06

sounds like herpes to me if it's a white discharge it's ghonarrhea hopefully he wouldn't show that to you ha but I wiled at the health department for a while and some ppl aren't bashful

aback 4

Monday 14 February 2011 14:22

Hand him some liniment.

EvilSpirt 5

Monday 14 February 2011 14:27

Help him rub it so it'll be numb instead

underpaid011 0

Monday 14 February 2011 14:48

lookin for love in all the wrong places will make your dick itch. at least you are not the one with some mystery penis funk / STD. Don't look for love at the strip club.