Intimacy: Twister

Twister

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 01:30

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 447

You deserved it 3 308

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Same thing different taste

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 2 086

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 862

You deserved it 5 095

By Pierceew - 19/09/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 612

You deserved it 37 813

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 155

You deserved it 4 217

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 679

You deserved it 12 207

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 144

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 4 920

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 799

You deserved it 5 730

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 371

You deserved it 4 961

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 197

You deserved it 5 087

hkhan24 23

Friday 4 September 2015 14:28

Was his name Willy?

mycrazyaddict1 4

Friday 4 September 2015 14:38

And some say chivalry is dead

Comments

counting_graves 0

Friday 4 September 2015 19:33

Someone actually did this to me while I was eating and it made me to spit out my food. They didn't even warn me.

invadermaythe1st 35

Friday 4 September 2015 19:42

thought you said "making out with my car"...

assassin707 7

Friday 4 September 2015 19:54

free ear cleaning... wht else do u need lolol

vmbrocca 13

Friday 4 September 2015 20:24

After that, that your ear was probably the only wet part of you. Lmao if a guy did that to me I'd dry up like the Sahara

thestoryofacaleb 14

Friday 4 September 2015 20:27

Use a Q-tip

gypsygurl 8

Friday 4 September 2015 21:48

Free ear infection. grim!

Geek_Freak 13

Friday 4 September 2015 23:38

Ew. Is his name Willy?

RecklessNapkin 16

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:06

I have nothing to say to this...

VeganDarkLight 31

Saturday 5 September 2015 19:15

You just did ;)

greatfirstdate 18

Saturday 5 September 2015 3:46

I hope that was my ex-boyfriend. Do you live in Berkeley?

peacefully84 19

Saturday 5 September 2015 5:03

Yeeuuugh. I hate having my ears touched, let alone licked. Thinking about that really wigs me out.

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I agree, your life sucks 21 390

You deserved it 1 713

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 85

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I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 132

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I agree, your life sucks 37 448

You deserved it 3 642

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I agree, your life sucks 12 989

You deserved it 1 374

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 887

Today, I realised that 3/4 of my family are prone to believe conspiracies and are anti-vax Covid freaks. I want to keep our relationships, but every discussion ends in an argument about some conspiracy they believe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 209