Intimacy: Twister

Twister

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 01:30

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 438

You deserved it 3 306

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 2 068

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 843

You deserved it 5 088

By Pierceew - 19/09/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 606

You deserved it 37 811

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 4 215

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 144

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 909

You deserved it 4 918

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 792

You deserved it 5 730

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 866

You deserved it 4 863

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 194

You deserved it 5 087

hkhan24 23

Friday 4 September 2015 14:28

Was his name Willy?

mycrazyaddict1 4

Friday 4 September 2015 14:38

And some say chivalry is dead

Comments

smoothies14 32

Saturday 5 September 2015 5:06

A little nibble, very sexy. Wet willy, very disgusting.

MementoMori1 2

Saturday 5 September 2015 6:06

Holy crap, I think I know that guy! That or there are more people who think that's sexy and that really frightens me....

cynthianicole95 9

Saturday 5 September 2015 6:13

What the actual ****? That's disgusting.

drunk_collins23 12

Saturday 5 September 2015 8:05

Let him put his dick in your ear, then you'll really be mind ******

ugh_just_ugh 4

Saturday 5 September 2015 20:57

groooosssss

EFAnon 3

Sunday 6 September 2015 18:39

Hey guys--OP here. (Made an account just for this, haha.) I'm actually a guy, so the wet jokes are irrelevant, though funny. Anyway! Yeah, it was pretty gross and a major turn off. It was even grosser when he French kissed me right after. For those wondering--thank god it didn't really have

EFAnon 3

Sunday 6 September 2015 18:41

a taste or I might have puked. By the second time he did it I spoke up and asked him not to. Luckily he stopped and went back to nibbling my ear, which was much more enjoyable. So all in all it wasn't the worst experience, but definitely not one I'd like to repeat. Thanks for all the comments, hope y'all have a good day!