Well, it is affecting her life... She will probably never have biological grandchildren and I totally understand why that's a hard pill to swallow, but she needs to understand that it's not her task to decide whether she will have grandchildren or not. Even if OP wasn't gay, he could still decide to live a childless life. OP, give your mom some time. It seems like the little voice in her head tells her you're gay, but she just keeps putting her hands against her head to not hear it. She needs to accept that your life will be different than what she had hoped for. Can take a while.

Maybe he doesn't have family that supports him, you are correct. But I was thinking about friends, and even if he doesn't have friends who love and accept him, there are many people in the world who support him. Now he knows he has the love and support of complete strangers, such as myself.

I really hate that argument... She gave him that life and has every right to be upset, just as op has every right to be gay. Idk, I just hate this whole issue. Everyone always says **** what your parents think, do what you want. But IF op's mom had been gay and taken that same advice, op wouldn't even exist and have the ability to make the decision. I just think there should be at least some consideration to what your mom wants, she did take care of you for at least 18 years.

Did you intend on commenting on my post? You can't live just to please others. Yes, that is his mother. He should love, respect, and care for her. He should consider her feelings. But he should also be allowed to live His life. It is His life. Not hers. A good mother would accept this. A bad mother would force her will onto her child. Yes, she can be upset, bitch, whine, complain... Whatever she wants. Because that is her choice. Just as it is OP's choice to be happy and be okay with who they are. Please, commenter above, tell me you simply meant that OP should not blow off his mother's feelings, while still making himself happy.

That is actually 100% what I was going for. I wrote that 3 min after waking up so thank you for putting my semi-coherent ramblings into better words. I have absolutely no problems with gays and believe they have every right to find happiness. I just don't think it should necessarily be at the expense of others happiness. Like I said, this has always been a weird issue for me, I grew up with a close family and strong family values, but also believe in finding personal happiness.

There is that, but how much must people sacrifice for the "expense" of others feelings? She would be what? Worse case scenario completely disgusted/ashamed of her child being gay? Meanwhile, he denies who he is in lieu of protecting her "feelings." Honestly, I'm a mother myself. I could NEVER imagine writing off my children for something so irrelevant as sexual orientation. I'm straight, it's a part of who I am, but it isn't the ONLY thing I am. Same applies to anyone else, regardless if orientation.

I agree. I remember before I had kids, I was in my mid 20s and started feeling like a "failure" because I didn't have kids yet. Not because I thought I myself was getting "too old" to have kids, but because my mother was making me feel like I was a failure for not providing her with grandchildren at a young age. She even pulled out the whole "I'm not going to be around forever..." speech. It made me feel like I HAD to have kids before she died. It took me a while to get over that way of thinking. I finally realized that this is MY life, I should live to make MYSELF happy, and I would have kids when I wanted to have kids - not when my parents wanted me to have them!

Guys it is a biological imperative (I think that's the right usage) to want grandchildren. We pass on our genetics in the hopes that our offspring will do the same. Being gay does kinda throw a monkey wrench in that plan. And for your mom saying you're getting to old at mid 20's, that's just messed up...

Mine and my in-laws are constantly implying I am selfish and depriving my daughter cause she is an only child. They will never be happy with the amount of grandkids. After all, they are not the ones raising and paying for the grandkids. They just visit then go home...so of course its easy for them to want tons!