Was she always like this, or is it a recent development? Could be the diff between counseling and divorce.

Are you sure this relationship is even viable? Like… you’re not supposed to be absolutely terrified of your wife. You’re supposed to be able to talk to her about issues in your relationship.

You sound like you're in a abusive relationship time to rethink your situation.

That's a really harsh situation to find yourself in, Dude. Don't stay. Try telling her that it's broken and just can't be fixed, that you feel really bad for her, that you would hate for her to feel trapped in a sexless marriage and would understand if she wants to find someone else. Yes, it would really hurt but you truly want her to be happy and fulfilled. See if the abusive trash is willing to take itself out first. If it doesn't then do what women do when they are escaping. Make a plan, document her behaviour, slowly get your papers and precious things out, find someone she doesn't know who will let you stay until you can find a place, then run like hell and divorce her from a safe distance. Or you can go for the much less safe Nuclear option. Take a very deep breath, make sure you have a place to go and neighbour/friend/family member stood ready to call the cops and tell her the cold, brutal truth. Once she's been arrested for physically assaulting you, the divorce should be much easier and quicker. As would getting a restraining order... This is NOT the recommended way, but it is the fastest option. Just DON'T stay. Discuss the safest exit strategy with your therapist and then implement it. You are worth so much more than this. It doesn't matter if you are male, female or anything in-between in this situation, no one deserves to be abused. Which is what she is doing. Even if she's sweet as honey the rest of the time, she's putting you in so much Fear that your brain is physically shutting down bits of your body. For once in life, you *really* need to listen to your dick and Nope the hell out of the whole situation. Good luck and everyone who has been in this sort of relationship can promise you that you will feel unimaginably better once you are free of it. 💋

Does anything make the little scared turtle come out? Other women? Dudes?

You may want to consider marriage counseling, because that is definitely not a healthy relationship.