Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Volvo

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 127

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Same thing different taste

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 280

You deserved it 3 002

By alaskan1989 - 22/01/2011 01:27 - United States

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 452

You deserved it 9 947

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 224

You deserved it 4 528

We all do it. Don't we?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 059

You deserved it 13 758

By Loki16 - 02/06/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 521

You deserved it 757

AAaaaaaah!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 730

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 279

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 673

You deserved it 9 512

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 368

You deserved it 5 754

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 19 913

juuuliaaa_fml 26

Thursday 22 February 2024 4:07

Hope only your tounge touched it!

JasonThorn 20

Monday 4 November 2024 15:04

...Dammit, 7 AM and I'm already done with the Internet for the day. I gotta stop visiting this site before work.

Comments

juuuliaaa_fml 26

Thursday 22 February 2024 4:07

Hope only your tounge touched it!

JasonThorn 20

Monday 4 November 2024 15:04

...Dammit, 7 AM and I'm already done with the Internet for the day. I gotta stop visiting this site before work.

Keywords

Neighbours Miscellaneous Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Party Love Jealousy Argument Family Fight Cats Animals Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Cute Dogs AITA Work

The Top

Today, I found out that my father is telling people that we sometimes sleep with each other, meaning it literally. He knows the figurative meaning of that phrase, but insists that “not everyone has a dirty mind.” Thankfully, since I’m an adult he won’t get into legal trouble, but still, ewww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 185

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 160

You deserved it 60 212

The Top

Today, I can’t make it to my friend’s birthday party because my dog died this morning. I called my friend to inform her and she screamed at me because a "dumb animal" is more important than her best friend. Oh, and she asked me if that also means she won’t be getting a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 130

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 921

You deserved it 5 395

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 3 679

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 565

You deserved it 2 555

Today, I was on the phone with Microsoft Customer Service for about a total of 2 hours. That's the longest I've ever talked to anybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 113

You deserved it 4 460

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that there's a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 19 558