Bosses, Relatable, Awkward and Work: Wage slave

Wage slave

By Janet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 840

You deserved it 3 249

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Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 11/07/2013 04:52 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 832

You deserved it 3 585

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 562

You deserved it 8 559

The literal smell test

By Yudith - 02/12/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 79

By imalilangel05 - 10/02/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 182

You deserved it 5 792

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 518

You deserved it 3 424

By hcfan - 14/04/2009 11:18 - Australia

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 397

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 18:10 - United States - Gerber

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 3 873

By poisonhand - 14/01/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 763

You deserved it 2 804

Genius

By joshua - 25/01/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 2 527

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 334

deadlyill 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:15

just so you know that is illegal for some one in power to make you do something such as that

drybamboo 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:09

His name's Michael Scott, isn't it.

Comments

Your_Shadow 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:17

You probatly have lice to now.

anynonymous_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 3:30

I would seriously just quit. No job is worth that much trouble, not even in this economy

urkiddingrite 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 6:02

thats when you QUIT your job, moron

allie2590 31

Friday 27 March 2009 0:12

He can't do that.

c3ns0r3dn4m3 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 15:49

at least it wasnt his pubic hair....

Avenging_Angel 0

Friday 10 July 2009 12:10

Ewww... I'm pretty sure that's not in the job description at all. Yuck >.<

Vetrina 0

Monday 28 September 2009 2:24

Ewww... at least you kept your job.

frocher 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 11:08

Is your boss Richard Branson or something?

Anteezy 7

Monday 18 January 2010 15:37

He can't force you to do things like that.

WONDERWB 2

Monday 1 March 2010 7:09

That's illegal and regardless of your genders can still fall under sexual harrassment. Turn him in.

Keywords

Animals Cats Awkward Christmas Health Embarrassing Work Boredom Love Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol AITA Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation Gun control Parents Kids Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Delivery Miscellaneous Food Family

The Top

Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 89

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 5 241

The Top

Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 919

You deserved it 946

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 354

You deserved it 3 282

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 160

You deserved it 5 244

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 7 591

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590 670

You deserved it 100 297

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 902

You deserved it 7 336