Bosses, Relatable, Awkward and Work: Wage slave

Wage slave

By Janet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 840

You deserved it 3 249

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Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 11/07/2013 04:52 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 832

You deserved it 3 585

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 562

You deserved it 8 559

The literal smell test

By Yudith - 02/12/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 79

By imalilangel05 - 10/02/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 182

You deserved it 5 792

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 518

You deserved it 3 424

By hcfan - 14/04/2009 11:18 - Australia

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 397

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 18:10 - United States - Gerber

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 3 873

By poisonhand - 14/01/2009 15:32 - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 763

You deserved it 2 804

Genius

By joshua - 25/01/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today, but he had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can see if he can go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 2 527

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 334

deadlyill 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:15

just so you know that is illegal for some one in power to make you do something such as that

drybamboo 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:09

His name's Michael Scott, isn't it.

Comments

Jonny_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:15

On the bright side, atleast he think's you're a trusted employee.

PointedRound 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:43

**** that shit.

interventions 1

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:57

people are disgusting :(

Kzee 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 2:21

I hope you asked for a raise after that.

derriick 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 6:03

hahaa, thats amazing... perfect time to bring up a raise.

0 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 8:22

UGHH You probably caught it! FML! PROTIP: You can't get rid of lice with a comb!

nodbor 11

Wednesday 11 March 2009 8:35

next week it'll be get in here and help me with these crabs

zandar 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 17:09

you really need to stop dancing and get a real job!

beardsnbicycles7 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:30

That iz eleegul.

sam1298 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 6:33

i literally lol'd at #3

Keywords

Animals Cats Christmas Health Embarrassing Awkward Work Boredom Love Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Gun control Parents Kids Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family

The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 1 053

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 43 625

The Top

Today, I had a nasty headache so I tried to take a nap. Unfortunately, my college had a homecoming parade a block away from where I live. I never knew our marching band sounded that awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 427

You deserved it 298

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 3 894

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 173

You deserved it 5 487

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 764

You deserved it 10 139

Today, I went drinking with my boyfriend and his sister in England. I'm from the US and they live here in the UK. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't get drunk and lock me out of the house, in a foreign country at 2 a.m., where my phone doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 384

You deserved it 397

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 530

You deserved it 4 618