Wanker and Intimacy: Wanker

Wanker

By Why son, why? - 20/03/2013 11:07 - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 738

You deserved it 6 807

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Same thing different taste

Wake up, boo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 20:01

Today, my daughter's school is furious because we were 3 hours late picking her up. My son, who was supposed to pick her up, apparently accidentally fell asleep after masturbating himself to exhaustion, which is why when we finally got home he was asleep with his pants down, porn still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 285

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 4 028

Tardy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I had to tell my daughter 7 times to get ready for school. I packed her lunch, made her breakfast, got her clothes ready for her, and yet it still took her half an hour to get dressed, making me just under an hour late for work due to peak hour traffic. Traffic I would have beaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 652

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 4 708

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 02:00

Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 2 141

By Anonymous - 28/12/2015 15:03 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 810

You deserved it 1 589

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 915

You deserved it 7 073

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 09:52 - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 925

You deserved it 7 130

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 4 243

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 166

You deserved it 4 122

marcelmg 10

Wednesday 20 March 2013 18:51

What did he say when you called him? I'm coming?

goose12321 11

Wednesday 20 March 2013 18:50

Well you know what they say, getting up (and ready for school) is the second hardest thing in the morning.

Comments

Beva_fml 15

Tuesday 9 July 2013 10:36

I was going to say "let the kid walk" but then I realized he would never get to school that way.

pie_flavor 16

Thursday 11 July 2013 4:10

Holy ******* lol.

melik90 3

Thursday 17 October 2013 12:03

I'd say old enough to whack off, old enough to get to school on their own.

tuckit 28

Sunday 22 June 2014 3:22

Why not just make him walk? Or take the bus?

bleedingglitter 24

Monday 20 April 2015 6:48

Sounds like he can learn to walk or catch the bus.

cheebiebeebie 0

Saturday 10 December 2016 8:58

Lol. Just burst into the room and stand there til he gets the idea. Better yet, bring it up in front of the family, he will be quite embarrassed, but you can't lose your job for him to do THAT of all things.