Wanker and Intimacy: Wanker

Wanker

By Why son, why? - 20/03/2013 11:07 - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 738

You deserved it 6 807

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Same thing different taste

Wake up, boo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 20:01

Today, my daughter's school is furious because we were 3 hours late picking her up. My son, who was supposed to pick her up, apparently accidentally fell asleep after masturbating himself to exhaustion, which is why when we finally got home he was asleep with his pants down, porn still playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 285

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 4 028

Tardy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I had to tell my daughter 7 times to get ready for school. I packed her lunch, made her breakfast, got her clothes ready for her, and yet it still took her half an hour to get dressed, making me just under an hour late for work due to peak hour traffic. Traffic I would have beaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 652

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 4 708

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 02:00

Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 2 141

By Anonymous - 28/12/2015 15:03 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 810

You deserved it 1 589

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 915

You deserved it 7 073

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 09:52 - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 925

You deserved it 7 130

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 4 243

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 166

You deserved it 4 122

marcelmg 10

Wednesday 20 March 2013 18:51

What did he say when you called him? I'm coming?

goose12321 11

Wednesday 20 March 2013 18:50

Well you know what they say, getting up (and ready for school) is the second hardest thing in the morning.

Comments

Ziggy122 15

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:13

Wake him up earlier and tell him to take care of his business ahead of time.

Zen_Mei 17

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:26

No need to stress; if he's old enough to whack off, he's old enough to walk or take the bus

FlyingPie 17

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:33

He was whacking off in the car while you were giving him a ride to school? Or am I not understanding this one?

MakinMills 12

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:39

how do you know what hes been doing? lol

iwadasn 32

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:47

If he does this so consistently, you should just leave him and let him deal with the consequences of unexcused absences. He's not going to become more responsible if you always fix his mistakes for him.

loserman67 35

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:56

He was getting ready. Nothing like busting a nut first thing in the a.m. to give you a better outlook for the day. Now he's nice and relaxed for that big math test!

spikekutter 9

Wednesday 20 March 2013 22:21

how old is your son?

charvisioku 22

Wednesday 20 March 2013 22:32

If he's old enough to wank, he's old enough to get the damn bus.

rampatmonkey 7

Wednesday 20 March 2013 23:10

consistently walk into his room to "Make sure he's getting ready". An embarrassing encounter or two and he should get the message.

milmac 9

Thursday 21 March 2013 0:01

The first time, it wasn't your fault. Maybe not the second time. But by the 6th time... definitely YDI. Time to step up and be a parent. You're supposed to be the adult. You're supposed to be in charge. Next time, when it's time to go, tell him you're leaving in, say, two minutes, whether he's ready or not. Then do it. If he has to walk to school, tough luck. Maybe he'll get ready faster.