Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Waste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 351

You deserved it 3 458

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 568

You deserved it 16 444

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 5 641

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 18 790

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 877

You deserved it 6 151

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 417

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 223

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 185

You deserved it 8 220

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 526

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 211

You deserved it 7 260

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...

Ladiesman247 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

3 years too long soul sister :)

Comments

jayaysee 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:56

Why would u wait 3 years....?!?!.... U could see it if u were waiting to get married...

poostool 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:07

Waiting til marriage is more retarded than a 3rd 21st chromosome. What if she waited til after marriage to discover that they're sexually incompatible? Then she's stuck with 2 minute hero forever.

rein 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 10:25

#25: not everyone shares your views. so either you stfu or learn to respect other peoples' opinions.

aruam365 24

Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:07

Maybe you should listen to the last sentence in your post!

ReynshineCutting 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 16:45

There's nothing wrong with waiting. To most people there are way more important things than sex so compatibility issues aren't the end of the world.

jayaysee 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:56

Why would u wait 3 years....?!?!.... U could see it if u were waiting to get married...

sandmancometh 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:59

Not good. Unless he's 70.

NoLimitzzGaming 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:59

Give him another chance or move on! it will get better over time! (:

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:04

Exactly, practice lots to build up his stamina.. It's a good aerobic sexercise :)

leadsails320 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:59

well I mean, it is hard work.

sporkman 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:04

Sneak him some good ol' roids. He'll probably be able to last 6 minutes then

bullrider92 19

Thursday 1 September 2011 5:46

then in six years his balls will be so shriveled he will never be able to have sex again.

NerdyKink 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:12

YDI simply because I had to wait over 4 years till I had sex with my girlfriend, and we had half a dozen more problems than you, yet our FML was rejected and YOURS was accepted.

RubiksCubeIsLife 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:19

What was your FML story?

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:35

Dump the zero and get with a Hero. There are plenty of guys out there who will try make every time like the first time (minus the potential pain and/or blood of course). Sounds like this loser of a guy would rather have a quick wank and get back to playing Wow or Halo or whatever then spend the time and effort to please you.

xk75 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:06

Agreed and since it only lasted 2 minutes, the op can pretend it never happened and share her special moment with a REAL man in the future (hopefully not 3 more YEARS though, unless op is still very young)