Intimacy: Way too public - FML

Way too public

By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 3 063

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Same thing different taste

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 2 251

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Spicy

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 7 486

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Spicy

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 177

You deserved it 1 140

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 580

By biblewanker - 17/12/2010 16:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 746

You deserved it 3 570

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 4 881

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 117

You deserved it 2 877

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 780

By Bobby ray slice - 22/08/2011 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 717

You deserved it 2 809

Alone

By shit - 30/05/2019 06:00

Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 725

Next

Top comments

ilikeyouuu 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 16:13

I would have said, in an uber gay voice, "wanna do me next?!". lmao

Averizzle 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 16:02

Join him.

Comments

bobby_blackhulk 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 17:30

U should've just crapped louder

BenTaz 7

Sunday 2 September 2012 3:59

Should have banged on the wall as hard as possible.

BigDogMatt 13

Saturday 10 November 2012 20:10

@ #15, where i am #3 means the squirts... Lol Did it sound like he was at least doin it rite? Lol jk

xs4u 13

Tuesday 26 March 2013 2:01

so what? big deal! get over it....

auburngirl106 14

Monday 29 July 2013 5:21

Ew

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 083

You deserved it 13 428

The Top

Today, I found out there's nothing like getting dumped and then receiving an inadvertent Snapchat sext from your ex-girlfriend that was intended for her new boyfriend, on what would have been your anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 150

Today, I found out that the "school after you graduate" meme is true. When I was there, only one of the classrooms had AC. Now they all do. Additionally, a bunch of particularly ineffectual teachers got sacked. I missed out on being around adults with spines and brains and not being cooked alive every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 99

Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 743

You deserved it 33 770

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, the strange cat that has adopted me inexplicably made its way into my house and curled up next to my head while I slept. I'm horribly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 360

You deserved it 1 590

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 4 019

Today, was the third day of my camping trip with my "friends". I woke up in my boxers with my hand glued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 382

You deserved it 5 717