Miscellaneous: Weaponised chocolate

Weaponised chocolate

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 04:46 - Australia

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 090

You deserved it 28 213

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Same thing different taste

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 118

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 046

You deserved it 7 026

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 220

He hath risen

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 26/07/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 418

You deserved it 2 707

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 927

You deserved it 306

You're not the boss of me

By crazydog - 10/06/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 662

You deserved it 4 187

By PsychoSarah - 06/04/2011 23:57 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 670

You deserved it 7 256

Mirorbo 26

Thursday 18 November 2010 9:05

...wtf? Seriously, darling...trespassing I understand. But firing missiles? What?

JizzKhalifa 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 9:14

throwing a square of chocolate off a building lol maybe a red squirrel can eat some when it's low on health

Comments

adidjo 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 13:14

What do you expect, man? This is post 9-11 America.

adidjo 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 13:16

oops, I mean Australia... or is it Oceania? Darn Blonde moment :-)

GhostChemist 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 13:20

There is no way you'll do any time, well worth it to be able to tell your kids you got arrested for firing missiles

DivineGarden 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 13:23

hahahahahahahahahaha, those austrailians :P

Mittle 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 13:52

thats a bit extreme

SARSvirus79 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 14:16

They have buildings in Tasmania? :-P

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Thursday 18 November 2010 15:21

this is Sparta!!!!!

Zebidee 8

Thursday 18 November 2010 15:23

Tell the cops you thought the chocolate was suicidal, and you went up there to try and talk it down, but unfortunately, it just didn't work out. See if they'll provide counselling. Still, if you _were_ trespassing, then YDI. If you threw something off a building then YDI. In fairness though, you're in Tasmania, odds on a person on the ground could have just tossed it back up to you. The tallest building in the state is only - what - 19 storeys?

green1eech 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 16:31

Ha funny you say that, my friend got charged with throwing a missile like object from a moving vehicle with intent to cause harm, he threw a slice of bread.

154rct 7

Thursday 18 November 2010 17:23

firing missles? no this is fake

Aced_fml 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 18:10

Besides, the terminal velocity of a penny is approximately 60 mph. Even with no updrafts or intervening rooftops, air resistance will keep a penny from going fast enough to seriously injure someone. I'd estimate the terminal velocity of a chocolate bar to be around 25 mph....hardly dangerous.