Money, Health and Cats: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 927

You deserved it 306

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 17:28 - United States - Sharon

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 732

You deserved it 3 729

By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 023

You deserved it 32 726

Punk rock

By Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 205

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 7 130

It wasn't me

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 916

You deserved it 15 675

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 18:12 - United States - San Jacinto

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 1 928

By fml - 25/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 61 049

New or used?

By Dez Johnson - 07/03/2021 11:01

Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 85

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 944

You deserved it 5 243

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 944

You deserved it 3 136

sousaphonist 14

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:05

Fight it. Get a good lawyer that's willing to counter-sue (hell, you really should've sued first anyways).

Thor1012 28

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:04

Wow I'd be sending new guy the bill! What was he thinking?

Comments

Thor1012 28

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:04

Wow I'd be sending new guy the bill! What was he thinking?

sousaphonist 14

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:05

Fight it. Get a good lawyer that's willing to counter-sue (hell, you really should've sued first anyways).

lil_miss_aries 4

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:05

File a report against him. That's ridiculous, I'm sorry!

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:08

Please tell me the pun was intended.

praahe 10

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:12

Yeah, you need to sue the hell out of them.

crackpotL 33

Wednesday 8 March 2017 16:34

Jesus, what type of building do you live in?

species4872 19

Wednesday 8 March 2017 17:10

No doubt he thought you were on the other team and had the ball. Seriously that's ****** up. He could have least verbally challenged you first.

WardenWolf 26

Wednesday 8 March 2017 17:13

Time to sue. Seriously, get a lawyer, OP.

manofmerr 27

Wednesday 8 March 2017 17:32

To be fair to the security guard, he did fight in the cat wars, and has a unique form of ptsd now. If someone so much as says cat litter, he instictively reaches for the water gun he used to carry to ward of the endless hoards. But to see a actual bag of it!? It's no wonder he tackled op. And now he's probably barricaded himself in a room untill the cat litter is cleaned up. So really, the guard is the one we should feel sorry for.

Punkpoptart1119 20

Wednesday 8 March 2017 17:50

What the actual **** is wrong with people?! I would get a lawyer, go up to the leasing office, and let them know you're planning to sue. That guy should be fired. FYL OP. I hope things work out.