Miscellaneous: Weaponised chocolate

Weaponised chocolate

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 04:46 - Australia

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 090

You deserved it 28 213

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Same thing different taste

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 118

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 046

You deserved it 7 026

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 109

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 220

He hath risen

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 26/07/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 418

You deserved it 2 707

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 927

You deserved it 306

You're not the boss of me

By crazydog - 10/06/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 662

You deserved it 4 187

By PsychoSarah - 06/04/2011 23:57 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 670

You deserved it 7 256

Mirorbo 26

Thursday 18 November 2010 9:05

...wtf? Seriously, darling...trespassing I understand. But firing missiles? What?

JizzKhalifa 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 9:14

throwing a square of chocolate off a building lol maybe a red squirrel can eat some when it's low on health

Comments

miss_Ali 0

Friday 19 November 2010 6:40

you deserve it for wasteing a perfectly good peice of chocolate...

Zodiak213 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:46

They had every right to arrest you, people have been killed by people throwing coins off buildings and that chocolate would even do a lot of damage.

Kasevam 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 14:43

No they haven't, and no it wouldn't. lrn2physics.

tompwn 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 2:21

lmfao

SarahKalia 5

Saturday 20 November 2010 2:28

chocolate rain?

Compass 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 7:17

When I read that you were charged with firing missiles I was like WTF. Then I saw it's from Australia so now I know it's awwwright.

AJK_fml 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 12:04

Not believable.

willacowan 0

Wednesday 24 November 2010 6:47

#41 needs to take a laxitive and realize he's got a stick up his ass the size of Sarah palins dick

Looper67 0

Friday 18 February 2011 15:30

Wow.... You could shoot someone's eye out that way!

Kface_stain 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:12

how dare u waste chocolate like that!

moonie98 1

Sunday 8 May 2011 0:40

chocolate rain...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 177

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 405

You deserved it 44 461

Today, I found a conversation between my husband and some girl arranging a one-time thing while I'm away visiting my family in a few weeks. It's our wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 895

You deserved it 264

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 776

You deserved it 6 578

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 19 253

Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 029

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 136

You deserved it 2 856

Same thing different taste

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