Miscellaneous: Weird simile but OK

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Weird simile but OK

By fuck you, bitchcake - 10/11/2013 18:26 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 3 788

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Same thing different taste

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 1 891

By escortedout - 23/10/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 47 389

By Cheyennereed - 17/02/2013 15:50 - United States - Shaw A F B

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 700

You deserved it 9 063

Great day out

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 19:32 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 135

You deserved it 5 902

By power corrupts... - 07/08/2011 20:29 - Czech Republic

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 12 055

Immersive experience

By Stormy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, where I loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy, and settled in to enjoy the movie. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 228

You deserved it 8 411

By wow, thanks - 18/08/2012 00:39 - United States - Seattle

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 372

Let's slip out of here

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 925

You deserved it 100 396

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 510

You deserved it 315 163

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 713

You deserved it 762

metallicshadow 16

Monday 11 November 2013 2:55

"his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected" that's a ******* awesome statement

JamoB 7

Monday 11 November 2013 2:43

But I bet the look on his face was priceless

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 11 November 2013 3:00

I think you should have been able to stay...just explain everything to security it might work towards your favor...

Way2Fast8 20

Monday 11 November 2013 3:03

FREE CANDY

enddmd 27

Monday 11 November 2013 4:46

I'm surprised it took this far into the comments for someone to point this out.

RenoTheRhino 30

Monday 11 November 2013 3:05

At least you know he's a little bitch that wouldn't've tried to mess with you anymore. I wouldn't want to be in the same theater with him anyways. But it does suck you lost your money OP.

beaverteaser 16

Monday 11 November 2013 3:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

TheCovertGamer 2

Thursday 14 November 2013 4:08

My best bet is that you can't read

Soundslikeothers 15

Monday 11 November 2013 3:07

Throwing candy? at those prices? What a fool!

iknowiwantyou 13

Monday 11 November 2013 8:16

I usually buy popcorn, drinks and candy at the dollar store and sneak em all into the theatre. works like a charm ;) srsly doe, 10 bucks for a small drink and 5 bucks for a candy bar? WTF.

sunnyray812 42

Monday 11 November 2013 3:08

At least you put him in his place.

perdix 29

Monday 11 November 2013 3:13

Maybe he had a Candy Crush on you?

caroline___ann 7

Monday 11 November 2013 3:14

Nice wording

the_real_dvd 21

Monday 11 November 2013 3:14

Doesn't matter. You stood up for yourself. Years ago, there was a group of angry black people throwing racist epithets at all the actors in a movies I was attending. Typical of reverse racism, everybody kept their mouths shut- but me. Full of liquid courage smuggled in, I told them to STFU. The respondent got out of his seat and threatened to kick my ass, to which I offered to let him try. Much to everyone's surprise, another guy stood up. He was a friggin huge black guy and he said, N******, sit yo ass down. Then, they proceeded to brawl. About 20 people fought in front of me without me ever throwing a punch. I ate popcorn and watched them. The police came, the crowd pointed out the original instigators, and they were tossed out. After the movie, we were all given passes to a free movie. So I guess my point is, don't put up with the bs. If you're right, you're right. And that's all that matters.