Miscellaneous: Weird simile but OK

Weird simile but OK

By fuck you, bitchcake - 10/11/2013 18:26 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 342

You deserved it 3 784

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Same thing different taste

By zaynemaliksvagina - 24/06/2015 17:10 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 422

You deserved it 1 891

By escortedout - 23/10/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 47 374

By Cheyennereed - 17/02/2013 15:50 - United States - Shaw A F B

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 693

You deserved it 9 059

Great day out

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 19:32 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 127

You deserved it 5 894

By power corrupts... - 07/08/2011 20:29 - Czech Republic

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 063

You deserved it 12 050

Immersive experience

By Stormy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, where I loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy, and settled in to enjoy the movie. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 8 402

By wow, thanks - 18/08/2012 00:39 - United States - Seattle

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 2 369

Let's slip out of here

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 925

You deserved it 100 383

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 506

You deserved it 315 129

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 757

metallicshadow 16

Monday 11 November 2013 2:55

"his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected" that's a ******* awesome statement

JamoB 7

Monday 11 November 2013 2:43

But I bet the look on his face was priceless

Comments

JMichael 25

Monday 11 November 2013 3:32

Where did his balls disappear to?

perdix 29

Monday 11 November 2013 3:40

In times of great fear, one's testicles may suck up into one's body cavity. I don't know how this changes their courage-giving power.

gumbler 5

Monday 11 November 2013 3:42

I had the same situation except it was ice cubes and I just punched him in the face. Worth getting kicked out

olpally 32

Monday 11 November 2013 4:29

Bitchcake... Kinda like me. Lol.

josmab 3

Monday 11 November 2013 4:48

nice metaphor

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Monday 11 November 2013 5:20

"his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected" PUT THAT ON A T-SHIRT.

Airbell12 11

Monday 11 November 2013 5:22

My friend was at the movies and a kid behind her was kicking her seat. She leaned forward and went back hard into the seat... The kid's skittles went everywhere.