Kids, Awkward and Work: What did you just say?

What did you just say?

By keeks_25 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 244

You deserved it 26 137

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Confused?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 177

You deserved it 35 895

Suave

By getmoneyab - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 924

You deserved it 68 494

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 599

You deserved it 8 453

By ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 371

Never do this, my dudes

By bluecollar - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 040

You deserved it 54 276

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 650

You deserved it 2 923

The strangeness of strangers

By Hank Gummyworm - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 522

You deserved it 4 408

By thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 3 569

By in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 194

You deserved it 1 826

Brain worms

By smooth - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 19 107

tipsypiink 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:53

hahah did the parents leave a nice tip after that? (;

RyanRaygun 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:54

Most kids are little *****. Don't feel bad.

Comments

intheface_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:17

ahaha, that musta sucked.

lnm701 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:17

Hahahaha priceless.

hk_fml 9

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:17

LoL oh no. Oh no. That's so unfortunate xD

Sergeant343 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:18

Dude that was on 4chan, so did you copy, or are you really the waiter

ertw 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:22

bahahahahahaha that is faaaantaaasstttticcc :D

amy_shmamy 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:23

awww cute

NoBounceNoPlay 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:26

Favorited. lololol

duhimgracesky 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:27

LMFAO! im sorry, does suck for you, but i hope it helps to let you know that my day was sucky until i read this. so you made someone's day better! :)

AkeemKN 1

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:28

LOLLL

wowfmlife 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:29

hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Gun control Parents Kids

The Top

Today, I located my birth dad and asked him why I was put into care. Turns out my mom died, and since he hadn’t wanted me in the first place, he just gave me away and hoped to never see me again. He didn’t even invite me in, he threw a beer at me and threatened to call the cops unless I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 227

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 386

You deserved it 33 128

The Top

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 012

You deserved it 3 372

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 978

You deserved it 41 816

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 773

You deserved it 19 873

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 3 891

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old daughter, who always acts so sweet, is antagonizing a 24 year-old woman via social media regarding her boyfriend, whom my daughter is *likely* having sex with. I thought she was the purest sweetest thing and she always has a believable excuse for times unaccounted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 611

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 714

You deserved it 8 722

Same thing different taste

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