Intimacy: What have you done this time?

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 6 724

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 073

You deserved it 5 180

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 868

You deserved it 6 316

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 734

You deserved it 5 666

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 678

You deserved it 8 434

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 028

You deserved it 4 682

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 2 377

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 186

You deserved it 3 401

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 30 574

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:16

Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.

starberries 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:34

My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.

Comments

ryliz 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:35

hehe :)

mrbeastmode 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:30

rawr! hahahahaha

login6437 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:35

You're hot

nicedevil6 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 18:26

I like ur sexy smile

smokeymcpottt 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:39

He's a keeper.

victorioustunnel 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:52

break it off right now. do it right now. GO!!!!

Phustercluck 11

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:57

In my mind, I read this with with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.

beren456 1

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:18

I'm reading YOUR comment with an Arnold Shwartzaneggar accent

El_Mero_Mero 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 9:00

haha me too

anon_e_m00se 8

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:08

I love you...

zozbasha 9

Wednesday 17 November 2010 14:41

^win

notsoluckypup 12

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:18

I hate to say this but dump his dumbass xP

El_patron 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:22

GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!!!!!!

harviss12 8

Tuesday 16 November 2010 8:28

love the picture

jacobjackman 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:31

Wow WTF.

YaJustNeverKnow 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:34

the arnold shit cracked me up i read it with the accent before i read the one tellin me to to FML

YaJustNeverKnow 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:36

the arnold stuff cracked me up i read it with the accent before i read the one tellin me to to FML

maphineRAWRS 10

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:39

their all the same... haha

H3ALTHFR3AK 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 10:54

yea, but some are better at hiding it *points at self*

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

The Top

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 965

Today, my girlfriend and I were waiting for the bus. The weather had been cold and snowy recently, and I realized I'd forgotten my transit card. She nonetheless got on the bus without me. I had to walk it alone in the snow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 9 015

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 172

You deserved it 319

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I play video games. No, not that I play too many video games or have an addiction to video games. Just that I play them, period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 709

You deserved it 357

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 3 600

Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 321

What have you done this time?

Same thing different taste

I'll take what I can get

Top comments

Comments