Intimacy: What have you done this time?

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 6 724

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 14 590

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 181

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 870

You deserved it 6 319

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 5 669

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 685

You deserved it 8 434

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 4 608

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 033

You deserved it 4 683

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 2 381

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 190

You deserved it 3 403

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 858

You deserved it 30 579

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:16

Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.

starberries 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:34

My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.

Comments

abc1231 2

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:43

ahahahaha wow! that's sad... you should dump him..

EvilDave 13

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:44

Sounds like you date assholes, therefore YDI

maddyturkey 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:46

sounds like your a hoe

kenjiisown 1

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:54

And you sound like a bitch!

hellokat1 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 6:39

Why?

carlokes 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:49

Lmao nice(;

imonaboat79 2

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:53

that's a terrible idea sir.

Cam636 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:03

I love you. ;)

smallsmerry 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:25

THEN BLOW IT LIKE A ***** ON CAFFEINE PILLS!!!

lostfaithinpppl 19

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:47

Well, OP, then what are you still doing with him?

XxMoonGirlAshomi 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:50

duh

MzMegs 20

Tuesday 16 November 2010 3:57

Sounds like it's time for him to become your ex-boyfriend.

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Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 4 868

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 595

You deserved it 15 094

The Top

Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 147

Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 197

Today, health insurance is mandatory in my country, and you pay 15% of your gross income for it. Sounds acceptable, right? Except when you find out that, according to the insurance companies, 15% of ZERO is 170 €. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 148

Today, just after Christmas, my husband and father of my small children went and left us and I don’t know how to deal with any of it. I don’t know how to be a single mom or fix it. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I’m heartbroken, not just for myself but for my kids as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 149

Today, my uncle kept his promise and left me his holiday house in his will. What he didn’t tell me was it’s been unmaintained for 14 years and is unfit for human habitation, has 2 mortgages, and now it and all its issues are now mine. Old, dead bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 353

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 568

You deserved it 17 509

What have you done this time?

Same thing different taste

I'll take what I can get

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