Love: What just happened?

What just happened?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 280

You deserved it 6 173

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 844

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 981

You deserved it 3 948

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 288

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

A step too far

By Charlie - 08/09/2009 10:46 - Australia

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 489

You deserved it 21 151

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 276

You deserved it 27 589

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 923

You deserved it 6 674

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 661

You deserved it 16 857

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 6 624

By meganridner - 04/08/2011 16:05 - United States

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 547

You deserved it 53 247

Marmarfarfar 25

Monday 6 May 2013 3:16

Did she ask you to stop and you didn't?

harrypotter955 19

Monday 6 May 2013 3:16

It's either that she's really stupid or you were throwing that mud like a champ.

Comments

LeFrogDog 27

Monday 6 May 2013 4:16

21 your drunk go home

Viet_fml 9

Monday 6 May 2013 4:24

Proably a psychopath, congrats on being single.

sarahlowry 2

Monday 6 May 2013 4:25

well... that escalated quickly.

prljm10 10

Monday 6 May 2013 4:25

You got mud on yo' face You big disgrace Kickin' your can all over the place

limitedition 25

Monday 6 May 2013 4:40

It's all fun & games til someone gets dumped.

Ypetrol 11

Monday 6 May 2013 4:43

But she started tho ?

SDMiami 7

Monday 6 May 2013 4:47

you're better off without her. maybe now you'll find a nice girl who really cares about you.

journeytotheend 16

Monday 6 May 2013 5:09

And knows how to mud fight

ironic_legacy 9

Monday 6 May 2013 4:47

Grammar, your drunk, go. home

journeytotheend 16

Monday 6 May 2013 5:04

You should've let her win

wjh100 13

Monday 6 May 2013 5:22

commenting about grammar while using the wrong "your" peculiar, very peculiar.

Keywords

Gifts Money Christmas Relatable Lonely Health Awkward Family Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Drunk Love Poopoo peepee Annoying Dogs Animals My ex Work Religion Shopping AITA Cheating Intimacy Am I overreacting? Break-ups Delivery Furniture

The Top

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 869

You deserved it 16 679

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 47 646

The Top

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 431

You deserved it 8 956

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 474

You deserved it 6 436

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 337

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 947

You deserved it 4 334

Today, I tried to deposit a few cheques in the bank before they expired, and all I needed was the ATM. Little did I know that the bank changed their hours and now closes on the weekend. I’m busy during the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 250

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 550

You deserved it 8 591