Kids: WTF kid? - FML

WTF kid?

By Fag_Hag - 06/02/2009 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my 4 year-old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 388

You deserved it 3 319

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 2 936

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 459

You deserved it 3 563

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 136

You deserved it 13 657

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 336

You deserved it 83 892

Close quarters

By aunty_social - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 630

You deserved it 460

Pooped out

By jmitch1209 - 28/01/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 866

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 565

You deserved it 6 655

By squishy - 11/02/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 469

You deserved it 25 608

FUPA kings

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 18:00

Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 146

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 534

You deserved it 462

Next

Top comments

perstephane 4

Friday 6 February 2009 18:48

What, it's not like it's a sex thing, or your nephew wants you. The kid is 4 for crying out loud. I've seen baby boys' penises get hard while being wiped during diaper changes.

foreverfarrell 0

Monday 16 February 2009 19:49

The word "Pee-do," just made me laugh the hardest I have laughed in about a week. Thank you for that.

Comments

AnnaSeptic 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:18

hahahahaha pee-do??? XD

singerguy18 0

Friday 15 May 2009 6:23

#12 agreed... It's not his fault, it's a reaction that you cannot control. I used to get hard hugging my mom and it doesn't mean I was sexually aroused by her. And pee-doo? Really. You can use the correct term with kids. It's not like it's a bad word.

LordLayAlot 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 11:59

@ #6: What do you mean "heck even doctors use that term", I would be very worried if not even Doctors could use the scientifically correct name for it....

jadenation 3

Tuesday 24 January 2012 5:09

He/she meant doctors say penis not pee-do

flamencosketches 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 5:37

OK first of all, they can't really control it at that age. Second of all, what the ****? You should be flattered.

ZeroCSS 0

Friday 5 June 2009 22:46

The kid is 4. It pops up all the damn time at that age.

irrelevantxx 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 1:18

HAHAHAHAHA

frozenpandaman 0

Friday 19 June 2009 8:08

Pee-do..phile??!

shnibz101 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 6:00

LOL nice 4 yr old

shnibz101 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 6:03

4 I know theycant help it but the baby thing is ******* funny

heygirlheyyyyy 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 0:53

am i the only one who noticed it was her NEPHEW? which means she probably wasn't the one who taught him the term "pee-do".

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 535

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

The Top

Today, while out in public, my stepmom turned and screamed at me for a good while for “walking through a door before an elder.” People stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 236

Today, my Orthodox Jewish cousin’s father called his wife’s Reform Jewish family “a bunch of monkey lovers” in his Bat Mitzvah toast. Worst yet, he did basically the same thing at his daughter from his first marriage’s Bat Mitzvah toast, and mentioned this fact in the speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 120

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 40 574

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 220

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 964

You deserved it 6 317

Today, I found out that my parents lied to me about my GPA so they could go back on our agreement of "3.0 or above or summer school" and had no intention of honoring the agreement anyway. I've been in summer school doing catch-up for kicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 501