Yeah, that probably wouldn't work

By Anonymous - 20/03/2020 03:30

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 521

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

By Mark - 27/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 828

You deserved it 378

Sneaky but clever

By Sorryfornotbeinggoodenough - 19/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 683

By BearMan - 09/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 4 876

By csor027 - 29/09/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 4 635

Confused

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 19:00

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 138

Not that there's anything wrong with that

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 444

You deserved it 4 635

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 200

You deserved it 17 872

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 327

You deserved it 38 754

By Anonymous1221 - 21/11/2016 07:12

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 143

You deserved it 1 458

By Anonymous - 13/05/2017 12:00

Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 567

You deserved it 393

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 March 2020 5:53

"Ok, then boyfriend."

ojoRojo 27

Friday 20 March 2020 8:00

Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.

Comments

Aiden89 23

Friday 20 March 2020 5:30

How dare you assume their orientation. (Jk)

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 March 2020 5:53

"Ok, then boyfriend."

jkjorn 16

Friday 20 March 2020 15:27

And then the co-worker responds: "So, are you available?"

rotflqtms_ 21

Monday 23 March 2020 2:16

Sorry, I'm not, but maybe Jack is?

JasonThorn 20

Monday 23 March 2020 17:41

I'd reply with, "I'm straight...just not narrow."

ojoRojo 27

Friday 20 March 2020 8:00

Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.

faifai_fml 21

Saturday 21 March 2020 15:08

Idiot. "I'm lonely, I wish I had a significant other." "You should go find a significant other." "...Are you even listening to me or did a bird poop in your brain pan?"