Intimacy: Yikes! - FML

Yikes!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 7 251

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Same thing different taste

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 4 338

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 346

You deserved it 1 890

By mydadsgonnakillme - 08/02/2013 07:13 - United States - Santa Barbara

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 562

You deserved it 12 438

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 217

What a dick

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 706

You deserved it 5 175

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 759

You deserved it 2 592

Welcome to hell

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 15:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, I found out that he, his sister and their father enjoy talking loudly over the person who is currently talking, because what anyone else says is not worth listening to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 117

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 880

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 1 420

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 4 984

Next

Top comments

InuYasha17 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 12:05

Awkward... o_o

Chunchunchun 3

Tuesday 31 August 2010 12:05

Need to chew your boyfriend out for that...

Comments

milo2113 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 7:16

ahahhahahahahahahahahha thats soo ******* funny!!!!!!!!!

CovertMilitance 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 8:00

L O L. nuff said

mojo2123 6

Wednesday 1 September 2010 8:15

Ok, here's my question, why does your BOYFRIEND tell his dad about things you do during sex?? It's like going up to your grandma and telling her how he only lasted 3 mins and thats the longest he's ever lasted, then asking her how long your grandpa lasts!?!?!?!?!?!?! Totally gross!!! Just a thought!?!

mahreahhx23 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 9:45

hahaaa fyl for having a bf who tells his dad everything

batman8 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 10:34

did you reply " you want to find out?" dammit, confused reality with **** again, my bad.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 1 September 2010 18:24

@112 Not every parent/child relationship is built on enmity and derision.

VenomByte 1

Wednesday 1 September 2010 18:42

I told Dad you were a squirter not a screamer!! Damn old man never listens!

ChinnuWoW 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 2:07

i ******* hate it when girls scream

angtaffe 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 7:13

at least he has a close relationshik wit his dad???

Shaggy_92 5

Friday 3 September 2010 0:07

rofl. I bet that was funny. I laughed.;)

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The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 112

You deserved it 5 918

Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, my dad is in the hospital for heart failure. Almost every single one of my aunts, uncles, and cousins have managed to find a way to make it about themselves for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 94

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 782

You deserved it 292

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 321

You deserved it 3 129

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by the ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend, simply saying, "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 671

You deserved it 14 596

Today, I can officially say my parents spend more time with my cheating ex than me. Today is Sunday, and since Monday they have visited her on 4 days, leaving three days for me to see them, but on two of those days I had work, so I have visited my own parents once this week, while they saw her 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 146