Dad jokes, Insulting and Kids: You can't say anything these days - FML

You can't say anything these days

By Ashley Marshburn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter walked into my home office and said, "Fuck you!" Then she ran to my husband and said, "Did I say it right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 589

You deserved it 5 378

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Top comments

Nyc__Princess 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:17

lol ! Don't blame her, she was just a messanger.

Lauren10102 3

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:17

Lighten up, it's a joke:)

Comments

howipostfml 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 23:46

You deserve it for not giving your husband enough sex, love, and sandwiches.

MradamLulz 0

Monday 18 October 2010 3:59

I just had a mangasm

MyFirstKiss 0

Monday 18 October 2010 1:06

WTF?ur husband ain't very nice,have her say to him "fudge u mother fudger!!!!!!" just dont say fudge lmfao

salgado 0

Monday 18 October 2010 1:16

Rofl..

rawrcookiemonste 5

Monday 18 October 2010 1:21

ahaha great dad?

scippy 0

Monday 18 October 2010 1:42

lol ur child is cute!

FLYiN_CLOUD9 4

Monday 18 October 2010 2:22

hahahah I love when little kids swear.

elmorous 0

Monday 18 October 2010 2:55

It's funny when little kids swear ... just as long as they're not my little kids!

phags_will_be_ph 0

Monday 18 October 2010 3:43

what a dick!

iHateThisLife 10

Monday 18 October 2010 3:50

I agree with no. 4

ladybugobgyn 0

Monday 18 October 2010 4:21

Wow. What special people you are. What else goes on in your trailer? Jerry Springer on DVR? Great family.

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Keywords

Health Gross Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Christmas Work Ironic Holidays Gamers Video games Embarrassing Love Gifts Public freakouts AITA Am I overreacting? Miscellaneous Racism Family Toxic Friends Drunk Coworkers Furniture Parents Sex Intimacy Lonely Relatable Money

The Top

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 112

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 138

The Top

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 256

You deserved it 749

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 5 022

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 615

You deserved it 5 552

Today, I applied for a job and got called in for an interview. I lied on my resume stating that I speak Japanese fluently. Turns out, my potential employer is half-Japanese and wants to conduct the interview entirely in Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 13 906

Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked up with a male friend. I'm so out of practice, I honestly believe round-two the next morning was out of pity more than actual interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 218