Dad jokes, Insulting and Kids: You can't say anything these days - FML

You can't say anything these days

By Ashley Marshburn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter walked into my home office and said, "Fuck you!" Then she ran to my husband and said, "Did I say it right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 589

You deserved it 5 378

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Nyc__Princess 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:17

lol ! Don't blame her, she was just a messanger.

Lauren10102 3

Sunday 17 October 2010 19:17

Lighten up, it's a joke:)

Comments

saymynamess 19

Friday 31 July 2015 7:12

Nice hint OP's husband

tiptoppc 19

Monday 18 July 2022 20:39

Swearing isn’t anything but sounds and words. I don’t understand the taboo behind it, and can’t wait to teach my kids to swear in 10 languages. If people get offended by sounds, they must have a large stick up their ass cause there are certainly worse things to teach kids. Like how to fire guns at a young age..

Keywords

Health Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Christmas Work Holidays Video games Gamers Love Embarrassing Public freakouts AITA Gifts Am I overreacting? Miscellaneous Racism Toxic Family Friends Drunk Coworkers Furniture Parents Intimacy Sex Relatable Lonely Money

The Top

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 569

You deserved it 205

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, my ex-wife refuses to return to Canada from the Caribbean if there are any new named Covid variants. I don't care about her, but this includes my children. She really does not want to return because she is anti-vax, cannot travel, and likes the local men. So what if the kids don't get educated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 226

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 315

You deserved it 8 296

Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 515

You deserved it 1 126

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 336

You deserved it 2 251

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 691

You deserved it 4 215

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 454